Archive for March, 2014

March 19, 2014

Non-debatable point

Adik-adik sekalian. Today, Uncle Michael would like to teach you this useful phrase – ‘Non-debatable point’.

Now… what is a ‘non-debatable point’? A ‘non-debatable point’ is an argument or opinion that you have (in a discussion, argument or debate), that is hands down gonna win everything there is in the discussion/argument/debate. It’s non-debatable. Anyone who attempts to debate about it (the ‘non-debatable point’) will look/sound downright stupid(der) than he/she already is for being in the discussion in the first place.

Do note that a ‘non-debatable point’ doesn’t have to be a truth, it can be a lie. It’s just so fucking awesome that it’s non-debatable.

Let me quote you an example of a ‘non-debatable point’ with a truth – this is a true story that happened at my workplace:

A few managers called for a meeting to sync up with some rules that they didn’t like getting violated by the engineers. One of the concerns raised, was this habit of keeping ICs (integrated circuits) in personal office drawers. That is not allowed according to rule book number XXVII Chapter Twelve point Seven. The correct way to store those ICs is – in a special storage cabinet (that looked – oddly – like a niche for a dead person’s cremated remains). Now the problem is, there isn’t any special storage cabinet provided to the engineers, i.e. the engineers would have no such option of storing the ICs into the said special storage cabinet. If this were to be expressed actively by a person, it would sound like this “How the fuck do I store my ICs into a special storage cabinet if I don’t have one?? Are you fucking stupid or something??”. So, basically those managers are talking about doing something with a non-existent object, and this sorta made the whole discussion a non-value added event. So the appropriate respond to this would be to repeat this – “Hello guys, there isn’t a special storage cabinet provided to us” – for every sentence spoken about the topic. It will be automatically understood as a non-debatable point.

Example of a ‘non-debatable point’ with a lie – Your pregnant wife asking you to buy a pack of spicy noodles in the middle of the night else she’ll starve to death. It’s obviously a lie, because she ain’t gonna die over a pack of noodles. But that’s a ‘non-debatable point’ because you are in no position to argue that point. The outrageous lie is said to illustrate how dire the consequences would be if she doesn’t get what she wants. You can bitch about it, but you still need to buy her a pack of fucking noodles. It’s a ‘non-debatable point’.

Learn how to spot it, and use it to your advantage, adik-adik.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | Comments Off
March 4, 2014

Melaka

What do you do when you wanted to go somewhere to unwind, but you’re too broke to go overseas? You fucking go somewhere local. That’s what I did about 2 months back, I went to Melaka – the historical Unesco city which can only be rivaled by Penang. The land where Parameswara rested under a Melaka tree and saw some mousedeers humping or something like that.

It has been years since I last went to Melaka. The last time I went there, it didn’t give me a good impression, albeit we had quite a romp at one of its clubs there. I wrote about seeing some odd bimbo wearing an extremely revealing attire exposing some taped nipples – check it out here. That was 9 years ago. This time, I went there again not with my crazy ass friends, but with my wife Emily and kid Regine for a short 1 day trip. The trip was meant for us to seek respite from our banal working life, and armed with some half assed googled information about the place, I drove all the way there in 1 sitting (it was damn exhausting but, well worth it).

The first thing that I felt when I entered Melaka, was how quaint the place is. Sure, there were traffic all around and shit… yes, but for some weird fucking reasons, it didn’t feel as hectic and rushed as what we would experience in KL or even Penang. The drive through the town was just so damn relaxing (maybe it was quite early in the morning, I don’t know). The place was exceptionally clean too. Throughout my trip there, I did not see a street littered with garbage and craps all around like Penang. It somewhat felt – for the first time ever in Malaysia – nice… Gotta give it to the guy who runs the city. Penang has so much to learn from Melaka on this aspect…

Well, we got ourselves a hotel smack dab in the heritage area, and had a blast by just walking around taking pictures of some really old and nice buildings, and because it was quite cool / windy back in January, I didn’t even realize I had a sunburn from all the walking and under the sun. The foods there were great too, although not really comparable to Penang. Penang is full of spoilt for shit choices of junk and guilt laden hawker food, whereas Melaka’s greatness rests more on only a handful of specialties like durian cendol (which tasted like mediocre at best), chicken rice (which in my opinion, beats the crap out of the best stall in Penang) and the famous artery clogging ‘satay celup’ (didn’t get to try it due to the overwhelming crowd). Nice place, good food, fair amount of crowd, Melaka really stands out in this peninsula of nothingness. (for those of you really gay people out there, yes, Melaka has shitloads of murals and graffiti too, not my kind of shit though).

It was a pleasant 1 day trip for all of us AT THE CITY, and would’ve been a memorable one for the whole trip if not for that regrettable decision to go to ‘A-Famosa Animal Safari’ (or something like that). I thought it would be great for Regine, you know, after all… looking at old buildings wasn’t really fair to her. It was a big mistake. That place turned out to be a major shithole, everyone should fucking stay away from it like a plague. Sick animals, unbearable stench, filthy establishment, while charging exorbitant price for an entry… it’s a sad sad place. If you’re going to Melaka, just stay within the city and away from crappy places like this, and you’ll be alright.

michaelooi  | places  | Comments Off