Archive for January, 2014

January 23, 2014

porn star

A Japanese neighbor gave my daughter Regine a hand-sewn Japanese rag doll. Delighted with the gift, she wanted to give the thing a name. Out of reflex, I suggested to give it a Japanese name to suit its origin. That was when my wife Emily asked me to suggest one… and I did…

Me: “I know a nice name – Rina”

Emily: “Rina? Nice but, doesn’t sound like a Japanese name to me…”

Oh it definitely is a Japanese name. I know because I have came across a lot of Japanese porn stars named ‘Rina’ during my teen-exploration years. Rina Kawaguchi or something like that. Busty with a cute face. I like! But I have to admit, it wasn’t such an appropriate name for my daughter’s doll, probably shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. My bad.

Me: “It’s the name of a Japanese porn star…”

Emily: “What!? A porn star??”

My daughter then got curious…

Regine: “What is a porn star?”

Emily: “Errmm, a star who looks like a pony…” [my wife’s quick thinking got us out of the potential mess]

Regine: “Oh! Ewwww! Let’s name it something else then”

Me: “Ok ok… how about ‘Yumi’?”

It was the name of a Japanese waitress whom I met at a pub many many years ago. Sweet young thing, who got so drunk with our group that she had to end her shift early and carried home by her co-workers. Now her name is also the name of my daughter’s rag doll.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | Comments Off
January 4, 2014

Silverstone tires suck donkey cock

Never ever buy Silverstone tires. I got a bulge on one of my new tires, which caused the ride to emit some strange repetitive noise at certain speed. When we sent it to the shop we bought the tires from, we had to pay for a replacement tire, while the defective one got sent to Silverstone HQ, or wherever the fuck it is, for warranty investigation.

Those incompetent Silverstone shitfucks took 3+ months to ‘investigate’ and concluded that it was due to ‘misuse’ – which of course was a lame fucking lie. Why? Because the car was only driven to work by my wife Emily – a commute of about 40km daily – most of it in traffic jam, and only for a few fucking months. Misuse? Yeah if your tire sucks massive donkey cock.

So, that has got to be it. Silverstone tires suck. Sucked so bad that it’ll bulge even with low mileage and low speed (traffic jam). I ain’t going to dispute that with those Silverstone scumebags because it ain’t worth my time to waste another few months talking to those living-in-denial retards. I’m going to just do this instead – tell everyone not to buy Silverstone tires.

I’ve been driving for 20 years, and I’ve driven on many brands – Pirelli, Bridgestone, Yoko, Michelin, and a few other cheap ass brands which I can’t recall – I’ve never encountered a bulging problem before, with the exception of a Pirelli I had many years ago, and that only happened because it was used way over its visible treads (too botak until it bulged).

So, if you’re looking to change tires for your ride, remember this – Don’t ever buy a Silverstone brand, because this product sucks. You definitely deserve something better (well, unless you suck too).

P/S: If you’re from Silverstone, FUCK YOU.

michaelooi  | automobiles  | Comments Off