December 16, 2013

Tips for you outstation rustic bumpkins visiting Penang for holidays

A collection of insights published on my Facebook status:

Tips for you outstation rustic bumpkins visiting Penang for holidays:

#1 – No, the people of Penang do not have telepathic capability to read your mind. You still need to use your indicator when you change lanes or turn at junctions.

#2 – The dashed lines on the roads of Penang are called lane separators – just like wherever you’re from. No the line does not go between your wheels. It doesn’t work like Pac Man.

#3 – That small narrow left-most lane with solid white line is not an express lane or an overtaking lane, you idiot. It’s an emergency lane. And no, rushing to your destination is not considered ‘emergency’ in Penang.

#4 – The roads in Penang are narrow. If you lost your way and need to check your GPS or whatever, DO NOT stop in the middle of the road to do it. Stop somewhere safe or park your vehicle, just get the fuck out of the way.

#5 – Locking the wheel of your illegally parked vehicle is our unique way of welcoming you to our state. True story.

#6 – If you can’t get a table at a restaurant, don’t just stand beside mine and stare at me eating. It’s not going to help. It’s actually considered rude in Penang, and will reciprocate by eating even slower (the longer you wait, the happier we get).

#7 – You do not need to desperately make illegal U-turns in Penang, like how you did it at home. That’s because no matter how lost you get, you’re still in the island.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

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