Archive for December, 2013

December 23, 2013

2013 roll up

I find myself not capable of expressing myself properly as of late. Not sure why but, I guess it must be an age thing. That probably explains the lack of content in this blog, which used to be like, updated everyday. But not anymore. Any insight to write anything is quick to lost in procrastination. Whatever I can gather, I made a pathetic effort to update it once a week or some shit like that. I find gratification in being left alone, not doing anything. It’s definitely an age thing. It has to be. I turned 36 this year, and majority of my co-workers are years younger than me and that has got to be depressing for some people. If my life is to be graphically represented by a download bar, you’d see the colored progress at 50% right now. Shit isn’t going to look pretty from this age on, and 2013 will be the beginning of those things. Fuck if it’s not an age thing.

Work life in ‘Company T’ has been somewhat mundanely good, but it is mostly boring. The most exciting thing that has ever happened to me there, was seeing how people bicker over simplest of things to get done (eg: it took 2 months for a couple of managers to map out the office cubicle seating for a group of no less than 20 people – how about that?). Company T, like Company X, is a massive corporation tangled up in a big messy ball of bureaucratic yarn. Your shit never gets done here. Not before it has gone through the reproductive systems of fuckloads of people and out of their assholes several times before it finally gets – at most – partially done. If you were to ask me, I’d prefer the pace of work in Company Y – you know, in spite of the lack of budget and shittier environment, perpetual work rhythm keeps us engineers sharp when everything we do has a direct interaction and shows its immediate effect. (If you do not know what I’m talking about, nevermind). Company T, in its bid to be a great place to work, has inadvertently became a breeding ground for sloths, and engineers are molded into delinquents that are never going to adapt well in the harsh environment of this cruel world. Just like that dickwad in my team who took it up to the management to have me investigated for a harassment charge when I ‘diplomatically castigated’ him for not getting his shit done in the right way (go search for the post – I’ve written about it). People back during my days used to get much severe rebuke than that, and we toughen up instead of getting pussier like this motherfucking piece of shit here.

Anyway, apart from fading into obscurity inside this capsule of timeless fluorescent space, I’ve also been busy going to fetch my daughter from the school everyday. I had to battle the traffic against the hordes of inconsiderate drivers just to reach the school on time, and it gets worse when I encounter an inclement weather. And her schoolbag, oh my fucking god, is so damn heavy that schoolbags now have to have wheels on them. I don’t remember it was this fucking hard for my parents. I lugged my schoolbag myself (which was like, 90% lighter than it is today), and I could take a bus without worrying about being kidnapped/raped by sickos out there. But it is all so different now. We can never let our children take a bus alone anymore. The country has gotten so fucked up, that even adults get kidnapped and raped in the broad daylight. That’s why the traffic has gotten worse, everyone fucking drives a car to fetch their kids from school themselves, and it is the system that is to be blamed, not the people.

So there you go, a typical life of a working father – not much fanfare or colors. Just to strive daily for survival and time for the kid as a responsible parent. Not much prospect at career either (At this age and time, I should be grateful for having a job instead of bumming). I definitely hope 2014 would be better, but I seriously doubt it’d be any different from this year.

[I’m not going to be writing until next year – so, Merry Christmas or whatever]

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | Comments Off
December 16, 2013

Tips for you outstation rustic bumpkins visiting Penang for holidays

A collection of insights published on my Facebook status:

Tips for you outstation rustic bumpkins visiting Penang for holidays:

#1 – No, the people of Penang do not have telepathic capability to read your mind. You still need to use your indicator when you change lanes or turn at junctions.

#2 – The dashed lines on the roads of Penang are called lane separators – just like wherever you’re from. No the line does not go between your wheels. It doesn’t work like Pac Man.

#3 – That small narrow left-most lane with solid white line is not an express lane or an overtaking lane, you idiot. It’s an emergency lane. And no, rushing to your destination is not considered ‘emergency’ in Penang.

#4 – The roads in Penang are narrow. If you lost your way and need to check your GPS or whatever, DO NOT stop in the middle of the road to do it. Stop somewhere safe or park your vehicle, just get the fuck out of the way.

#5 – Locking the wheel of your illegally parked vehicle is our unique way of welcoming you to our state. True story.

#6 – If you can’t get a table at a restaurant, don’t just stand beside mine and stare at me eating. It’s not going to help. It’s actually considered rude in Penang, and will reciprocate by eating even slower (the longer you wait, the happier we get).

#7 – You do not need to desperately make illegal U-turns in Penang, like how you did it at home. That’s because no matter how lost you get, you’re still in the island.

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December 2, 2013

People I hate: Superbikers

You know those big bike riders right? I hate them. Well, not all of them, but a big percentage of them. Always riding in groups, with their high cc bikes… revving around. That’s fine for me, actually. What bothers me most, is that some of them actually think that they own the roads just because they’ve paid a fucking high premium for their bikes. They have this self inflated huge ego and elevated sense of being superlative in existence, and therefore, they think everyone should just make way for them! They ride like jerks and they think the price they pay for their expensive bikes justifies that.

I’ve seen them doing this many times. In big groups. Usually making trips over a few hundred km’s to attend a gathering at a renowned ‘ikan bakar’ joint or something. Usually nothing of importance but, they have to honk all the way through their journey to pave everyone out of their way like the whole world revolves around them! Like, what the fuck! Why can’t these dipshits ride like any other law abiding road users?? Why must everyone give way to them?? Is it because they are in a bigger group and therefore we all must yield for them to pass? Fuck that! To me, that logic is no different from being a group of thugs – i.e. they can do whatever they want because they’re in a bigger group. In that sense, doesn’t that make them retarded or something? Because if that logic is kosher, wouldn’t it be way better for them to just rob a fucking bank instead of doing something inane like paving their journey through a heavy traffic? Oh that’s right, they don’t have the balls to do that – nevermind.

Just the other day, a group of these typical bikers rode through a 2 way country road with moderate traffic (I was in the traffic). They didn’t even have really big bikes, just some stupid Dukes and 250ccs (spotted a couple of Africa twins though). 2 of the front bikers (marshalls or something like that) – tried to stop the entire 2 way traffic so that their retarded bike buddies could pass. Guess what happened? None of the kampung folks gave a shit about these asswipes. Their futile attempt to stop traffic was comical, nearly turned tragic when a few of the idiots had to brake frantically when they realize with their minuscule brain that the vehicles from the oncoming traffic were going to run them over and weren’t going to yield. They had to queue up like everybody else, but sped like ‘monyet kena belacan’ when the oncoming traffic clears (to control the ego damage I guess, which they do best…)

Fucking morons. And you people wonder why so many bikers get killed in traffic – they had it coming!

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