After much convincing from my wife, I finally brought the family to a supposedly ‘educational theme park’ in PJ, called KidZania. And that was only after I got an earful of ‘wonderful stories’ from my wife relating to experiences other kids from the neighborhood had at that place, and how they’ve learned so much about so many great things et al, that they probably averted from going to jail in the future. So I was like, ok let us go there already and there we were.
One thing’s for sure about this KidZania – it’s not as great as the housewives boasted it to be. One thing I learned after visiting this place – is not to be so stupid again. I mean, what a fucking rip off! Everything there is so goddamn expensive! From the entrance fee (parents have to pay 35 bucks per pax just to watch their kids, how about that??), to the food – everything is exorbitantly priced, to the ridiculous level that your great grandparents probably won’t forgive what you’ve paid for some fucking finger food! And all that for ZERO fun!
Initially, I thought this place was like, a bunch of kids role playing in a big carefully coordinated system, you know, just like Dungeon and Dragons or some shit like that (the real RPG stuff, with costumes and all). I imagined my daughter is probably gonna go in there holding a pitch fork playing a part in killing some nasty ass dragon in a pre-arranged plot and come back here to tell all her friends about that rewarding experience. But it was nothing like that (damn… I know, I should have researched about this place before agreeing to go there). The whole thing is actually a bunch of pseudo corporations/companies put together to – allegedly – give the kids some opportunities to experience ‘work’, and learn the concept of earning some moolah to be better in life. Yeah, right… like they won’t get to learn that evarrr, if they do not visit KidZania. Eventually, every kid grows the fuck up and forced to grasp the concept of earning moolah, so this whole thing is just a hokum about being ‘educational’.
And then, there are only a handful of ‘line of work’ available for the kids to choose from. Insurance agents, postman, fire fighter, policeman, you name it. Some of them are age restricted so, that pretty much limits kids under the age of 8 to just some crappy choices. What’s even more frustrating, is that the whole place is so damn crowded, that one has to queue up for ages to ‘get a job’. People are flocking to this place and it’s out of control, so bad that it kinda also makes me wonder what’ll happen if there’s a real fire breaking out in that crowded space full of wild kids? With the pandemonium already going on and the fake fire sound effects blasting from the loudspeaker for the fake ‘fire brigade practice’ – chances are high that most people will get apathetic to any potential danger going on.
The whole thing just doesn’t work for me really. None of ‘line of jobs’ are realistic anyway. Like I said, they’re pseudo, nothing close to the real thing. If you seriously want your kid to learn to do some useful stuff instead of say… playing, just pay that little shit 5 bucks to wash the family car (I’m sure they’d be more thrilled to earn real money), or just observe in a fucking post office for a couple hours. Or perhaps like me, you can subscribe to some documentary channels on your satellite TV, and force them to watch programs like ‘How do they do it?’, ‘Pawn Stars’ or maybe even ‘Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe’… you’d get better value for your money than visiting this shithole that is charging you your hard earned money for something which we can see everyday everywhere.
My Regine – she wasn’t at all impressed with the place either. Instead of enjoying herself, she wanted to bail after only a couple of hours inside it (much of it spent queuing and wandering around the thick screaming kids). When asked, she said it was alright – but we knew she said that just to show her appreciation, and to make us feel better about bringing her there. But deep inside, I know, she hated the place as much as I did. We brought her to the hotel pool the next day and she didn’t want to leave the pool. And that action, speaks louder than her words. A soak at the pool is much better than going to KidZania.