Archive for October, 2013

October 28, 2013

KidZania Kuala Lumpur

After much convincing from my wife, I finally brought the family to a supposedly ‘educational theme park’ in PJ, called KidZania. And that was only after I got an earful of ‘wonderful stories’ from my wife relating to experiences other kids from the neighborhood had at that place, and how they’ve learned so much about so many great things et al, that they probably averted from going to jail in the future. So I was like, ok let us go there already and there we were.

One thing’s for sure about this KidZania – it’s not as great as the housewives boasted it to be. One thing I learned after visiting this place – is not to be so stupid again. I mean, what a fucking rip off! Everything there is so goddamn expensive! From the entrance fee (parents have to pay 35 bucks per pax just to watch their kids, how about that??), to the food – everything is exorbitantly priced, to the ridiculous level that your great grandparents probably won’t forgive what you’ve paid for some fucking finger food! And all that for ZERO fun!

Initially, I thought this place was like, a bunch of kids role playing in a big carefully coordinated system, you know, just like Dungeon and Dragons or some shit like that (the real RPG stuff, with costumes and all). I imagined my daughter is probably gonna go in there holding a pitch fork playing a part in killing some nasty ass dragon in a pre-arranged plot and come back here to tell all her friends about that rewarding experience. But it was nothing like that (damn… I know, I should have researched about this place before agreeing to go there). The whole thing is actually a bunch of pseudo corporations/companies put together to – allegedly – give the kids some opportunities to experience ‘work’, and learn the concept of earning some moolah to be better in life. Yeah, right… like they won’t get to learn that evarrr, if they do not visit KidZania. Eventually, every kid grows the fuck up and forced to grasp the concept of earning moolah, so this whole thing is just a hokum about being ‘educational’.

And then, there are only a handful of ‘line of work’ available for the kids to choose from. Insurance agents, postman, fire fighter, policeman, you name it. Some of them are age restricted so, that pretty much limits kids under the age of 8 to just some crappy choices. What’s even more frustrating, is that the whole place is so damn crowded, that one has to queue up for ages to ‘get a job’. People are flocking to this place and it’s out of control, so bad that it kinda also makes me wonder what’ll happen if there’s a real fire breaking out in that crowded space full of wild kids? With the pandemonium already going on and the fake fire sound effects blasting from the loudspeaker for the fake ‘fire brigade practice’ – chances are high that most people will get apathetic to any potential danger going on.

The whole thing just doesn’t work for me really. None of ‘line of jobs’ are realistic anyway. Like I said, they’re pseudo, nothing close to the real thing. If you seriously want your kid to learn to do some useful stuff instead of say… playing, just pay that little shit 5 bucks to wash the family car (I’m sure they’d be more thrilled to earn real money), or just observe in a fucking post office for a couple hours. Or perhaps like me, you can subscribe to some documentary channels on your satellite TV, and force them to watch programs like ‘How do they do it?’, ‘Pawn Stars’ or maybe even ‘Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe’… you’d get better value for your money than visiting this shithole that is charging you your hard earned money for something which we can see everyday everywhere.

My Regine – she wasn’t at all impressed with the place either. Instead of enjoying herself, she wanted to bail after only a couple of hours inside it (much of it spent queuing and wandering around the thick screaming kids). When asked, she said it was alright – but we knew she said that just to show her appreciation, and to make us feel better about bringing her there. But deep inside, I know, she hated the place as much as I did. We brought her to the hotel pool the next day and she didn’t want to leave the pool. And that action, speaks louder than her words. A soak at the pool is much better than going to KidZania.

michaelooi  | places  | Comments Off
October 7, 2013

siew yan

The Cantonese has this term called ‘siew yan’, which literally translates to ‘the small people’. Contrary to the term, it’s not a reference to a new species of humanoid animal or anyone with generally small stature. It’s a term referring to a composite character who is out there to ruin your every shit.

You see, the Chinese believe that the life of every single living soul on this hard unforgiving floating rock in the solar system, is at any one time being burdened by this ‘siew yan’. Be it at work or at home, there’s always a ‘siew yan’ to ensure that you will never get a peace of mind but problems. This ‘siew yan’, can just be anyone. It can be your mom, your friend, your boss or even someone you don’t even fucking know… all amalgamated into this one mean bitch motherfucker who, depending on the alignment of the celestial bodies during the day you were born, will subconsciously fuck you out of your game in life. To remedy it, the Chinese would recommend periodical visit to a local temple, get yourself a prayer package which consists of some machine pressed sheets of human shaped paper, and to follow some simple instructions of how to smack it (the human shaped paper) with either side of your shoe, while muttering some profanities deemed proportionate for the depth of shit you’re in – as both a psychological relief to oneself, and also to discipline the dark side of that ‘siew yan’s’ mischievous soul.

Superstitious or not, I think I’ve ID’ed my ‘siew yan’ in Company T. If he’s not just 1 person, he’d likely hold the biggest percentage of my ‘siew yan’ composite character. Remember this asswipe loser? It is him. 2 weeks ago, this bozo went to the boss to stab me in the back with a complain. Guess what his complain was? You wouldn’t believe it – he told the boss that I ‘harassed’ him. Initially I was like, ‘wtf I’m straight!’… but he was actually referring to an incident where I had to raise my voice at him for not following my instruction to handle a bunch of trays of expensive stuff properly (he was balancing the trays on his lap). And then he topped it off by bitching to the boss that he always felt ‘left out’ of the team, because I never included him in our ‘secret discussions’ with other team members. All the accusations are all untrue, of course. I’ll spare the details. But rest be assured, the whole thing is as ridiculous as him complaining that his school teachers suck because they didn’t make him a smarter person. The fucker shirked the whole year doing nothing but watching Korean soaps on his stupid iPhone, late to work, skipping meetings and not reading memos…. and he had the gall to complain that I was ill treating him! *blood reaches boiling temperature

Anyway, that was that. I got investigated by the manager because of this. I had to tell the boss everything about him and what transpired during the alleged ‘harassments’. You see, despite being more hopeless than a hobo, believe it or not, I’ve never actually ratted him out to the boss before this. The boss didn’t know that he sucked that bad. That’s because of my belief that everyone in this world deserves chances to be better. I know the game and I know the deal. I cut young people a lot of slacks. I might yell at him or ridicule him once in a while, but deep inside me, I’d still root for the guy to not fail. That being said, I had developed a training plan for him, and I assigned 2 engineers to be his mentors (and even I myself mentored him). But instead of getting up to speed and appreciate all that we did for him, this guy went full retard and accused me and his fellow team members for having prejudice against him. That was when I had to tell the boss everything about him and looks like he had dug his own grave for that.

So what’s going to happen now? We’ll have to set goals for him to prove himself worthy, and that’ll be the ground to dismiss him from Company T if he still doesn’t get his shit together. And I’m going to top it off by getting a smack ‘siew yan’ package from the local temple, and I’mma shower him with profanities that he’d never heard before in his life…

michaelooi  | rantings  | Comments Off