September 1, 2013

asswipe loser

Callow Gen Y colleagues in their early 20s. I have many of them in Company T. Some good some bad. But the worst of the lot, by sheer ill of luck, happens to be in my team. (Fuck me)

23 years old, the guy looks like he has been spending too much time in front of the mirror and at the gym, joined in about a year ago as a fresh graduate trainee (about a month after I’ve joined Company T). He had his hair styled like half David Beckham and half Ronaldo of Portugal, he thinks he looks awesome (or at least it appears to be). But deep inside that turgid head with fancy hairstyle of his, are nothing but filth and mud that are probably good only for lifting multiple dumb-bells and occasional hard-to-understand semi-murmurs of what seem to be an attempt to communicate that he has to repeat a few times to make any listener comprehend.

I learned from my other colleagues, that this piece of walking disaster shit was purportedly hired because he has an excellent academic records of some sort, but I seriously doubted that claim. If a person of his caliber (or the lack of it) is considered ‘smart’ by any definition in existence, then my balls must be a genius for just having a wrinkly sack around them. Believe it or not, a year after he joined as a fresh graduate trainee, he still hasn’t got any clue what’s he doing. In fact, he’s been getting more confused as the time progresses. Academically excellent!? My ass!

From what I managed to gather from my own observation, the guy seems to have this mentality that he’s still in college – where everything is spoonfed to him like he hasn’t weaned off his mother’s teats. Whenever he is confounded with problems, instead of using his own competency to resolve them (and therefore, learn in the process), the guy would stop dead in his tracks and wait for someone else to solve his shit for him. I’ll quote a couple of examples:

– There was once he was tasked to install an utility for a USB port programmer. He was given a URL to download the installation file. Guess what happened? He downloaded the file, and asked what he should do with it. Had to tell him how to fucking install it. Then after installation, he asked what to do with the USB programmer. “You see this sole USB connector on the programmer? Where do you reckon it should be plugged into?”

– I tasked the guy to strip some insulation off some blue wires with a wire cutter for some jumper rework chores. The guy spent the whole morning CUTTING the wires, and only came to me for advice when he realized he wasn’t doing it right. “You don’t fucking know how to strip insulation off a wire??”. Had to show him.

And many more. As if it’s not bad enough, he’d also been sleeping on the job, watching sissy ass Korean dramas from his iPhone during working hours, shirking off in the office Facebooking and spending most of his time chatting on IM with his similarly retarded friends. There was once I tried to teach him something about the job (which is weird, considering the fact that I joined just 1 month earlier than he did), he interrupted me halfway to install some software with his notebook. I had to tell him to stop being such a disrespectful prick, to which he responded with a snigger.

So what do I do with this piece of useless asswipe loser junk now? I think I’m going to propose for him to get an axe in his next review. Hate to do this but, he has to go.

michaelooi  | characters  | 

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