February 3, 2013

school nowadays

It was 1994 when I last seen my own school. Never been to a school after that, until my daughter started her primary one last month. It was only then, I realized that how much shit has changed!

One of the prominent changes would be, do you guys fucking know that they do not have blackboards and chalks anymore at schools (most of them)? *shocked* For some of you dipshits who were born to sissy whiteboards and markers, you won’t understand how much of a big deal this is. There used to be so many hundreds of cool things we could do with chalks and blackboards.

We can use the chalks to write/decorate on fellow students dark colored pants. Eg. draw an inverted Z or lewd image on an unsuspecting student’s chair, and when the sucker sits on it, the letter / image will be imprinted on his ass. We’ll have a few laughs after that and move on (because the chalk dust can be easily remove with a few kicks!)

Speaking of kicks, you also can apply the chalk dust on your shoes, and give someone a kick. It’ll have a cool dust mist effect when your shoes come in contact the victim’s ass.

The chalk can be ground into fine powder, and put into a folded paper bellow. You can use the self made paper bellow to puff a mist of chalk powder to any unsuspecting person, and see him startled.

The said grounded chalk powder can be mixed with water, and applied on the school shoes – in a last minute effort to conceal your sleazy pair of dirty shoes in the event of needing to impress some girls you’re about to meet.

Chalks also can be broken into smaller pieces, and flung towards a spinning ceiling fan for a game of random projectile roulette. It’s fun, until chalk hits the teacher of course.

If you’re the artsy kind, chalks also make a good material for carving practices. We’ve carved numerous lewd objects (dick, et al) and put them on display on someone’s desk. One can try the teacher, but that’s not recommended.

One can also do some graffiti with chalks too, and it’s never permanent.

And then there’s the duster. Everyone would volunteer to dust the duster at the corridor, to get a couple minutes’ worth of respite from a boring class, or using it as an opportunity to gawk at passing girls. There was once a classmate of mine took more than 10 mins to dust that goddamn duster and was duly punished by the teacher.

The duster was made of rags stapled together. That made it a perfect object for an impromptu soccer match, or safe object (otherwise embarrassing) to fling at a sleepy student.

Many more, I can’t remember them all. It’s sad to learn that my daughter will never experience the same fun I had when I was in school with chalks and blackboards. I can only hope at this time on, she’d find more fun with a whiteboard marker… which I doubt she will. Whiteboard markers and whiteboards are boring.

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 

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