January 6, 2013

east vs west

Now that Christmas is over, the next holiday week that most people are looking forward would be the Chinese New Year (abbreviated as CNY). In the short span of about 1.5 months, most business premises would struggle to change their decorations from the Christmas theme to the CNY theme. Quite a big change for most people, but for me, I can’t help but wonder on the ‘too much to be just coincidence’ similarities between the two – especially on the 2 lead figures of both celebrations – Santa Claus and God of Prosperity. So much similar, that it would have warranted a lawsuit if either holiday were to be run by shit companies like Apple.

Anyway, let me line out the similarities between both, and you guys decide for yourself.

Body size – fat with bulging belly.
I understand that in the (ancient) Chinese culture, fatasses with huge belly signifies wealth and fortune. It shows that he is well fed, and he doesn’t need to do shit. But I can’t explain about Santa. My take is, a fat old guy is rounder therefore, it is more likeable for the kids (as opposed to a skinny guy that looked like a drug addict).

Beard – thick long beard
Well, it isn’t really ‘thick’ per se for the God of Prosperity but, his overflowing lush beard is da shit in the oriental standard. Santa’s beard is huge as well.

Choice of color for the garb – red.
Well it’s really simple for the Chinese. Red signifies fortune, and also the myth on the Nin monster being scared of red (and loud noise) or something like that. So, the God of Prosperity is conveniently red (and gold). For Santa, it’s red as well.

Motive – to give shit away to people.
Santa gives away toys to behaving kids. God of Fortune does it further – he gives away gold and fortune to any lucky bastard.

Hat – wears a fucking hat.
Santa’s hat changes all the time, but the most iconic one would be the same type we see sexy santarinas wear at pubs during Christmas eve. God Of Fortune wears a hard tall hat with 2 antennas that is similar to ancient Chinese government officials’. The type of hat usually signifies ranking in the society and the wealth status (and perhaps to boost mobile signal reception). Both have hats, even though neither has male pattern baldness.

Age – seems old
Both are old geezers in their 60’s – 70’s. At this age if you’re this fat, you’re usually marked for death from either an overwhelming high blood pressure, or osteoporosis for having to hold that huge amount of weight with those brittling old bones.

The existence.
Do you see any other holiday with fat geezers going around giving away stuff? If I get to choose, I’d opt for a hourglass shaped bimbo with perfect tits and tap-able ass to do the job. Go figure.

Of course, there are things that are not the same at all – like,
– the God of Prosperity is actually worshipped as a deity. And you don’t have to be good to get the benefits. It is said that the mere sight of the ‘God of Prosperity’ alone would grant you bright future and fortune.
– In Christianity? They have seen Mother Mary, and Jesus on their toast (ironically, no Santa Claus) – they fucking cried and prayed harder (but nothing happened).
– Santa has a sleigh with reindeers, and utilizes some elf labors to manufacture the toys.
– God of Prosperity materializes gold out of thin air, and he fucking walks (or teleports).
– Santa covertly climbs down the chimney to give away toys
– God of Prosperity walks to your door step and does drive-by blessing (or rather, walk-by)

And the God of Prosperity pre-dates Christmas for about a few decades… at a time when no one knew China even existed! So I guess sometimes shit like ‘too much of a coincidence’ can actually happen… or China had already spread its influence way back before we thought it was possible? Another theory would be that, both are actually the same person, that came to visit us from outer space? o__O”

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

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