My 6 year old daughter Regine came back from her nursery one day and told me she wanted a pet rabbit. That was when I went – Oh shit. You see, I am never fond of rearing an animal as pet. I think it’s cruel. And also, I do not believe that animals and humans can (should) co-habit together under one roof.
So with a feigned concerned look, I held my daughter and looked at her in the eyes and told her this – “Regine, do you really think a rabbit would be happy to live here with us?”
She didn’t respond – positive sign. I pressed further.
Me: “A rabbit that lives here in our apartment will become a sad rabbit, without its friends and relatives. It will be alone.”
Regine: “We can keep 2 rabbits then!”
Oh shit x 2. Should have seen that coming. Contingency maneuver.
Me: “What about space? You think they’re going to be happy in a cage? It’s like being in a prison.”
Me: “It will have to poo and sleep in that cage, while you’re at school and we’re all at work. Lonely, sad rabbit”
Me: “A rabbit is not a toy, it’s a living thing. It’s cruel to keep a rabbit in a cage and watch it go sad.”
Me: “Can I buy you a soft toy rabbit instead?”
I was offering a solution to the problem. A soft toy rabbit.
a) It’s as cute as a real rabbit, if not cuter.
b) Doesn’t need feeding, and doesn’t poo.
c) It can stand neglect, and you can fucking machine wash it.
d) Most important of all, it lives forever (the kid won’t get sad over the death of a pet)
I thought it was a brilliant counter proposal, but that was when my daughter played the crying card. Tears started to roll down her face. She wasn’t even wailing, but just tears in utter silence. It was the most heart wrenching kind. For me, it simply meant – Oh shit x 3 – and I caved in.
Me: “Alright alright we’re gonna get you a freaking rabbit. But we’ll have to look around for one, ok?”
Her face then lit up like how I’d look if I were to be given a promotion at work… which kinda made me ponder how many instances in the long history of mankind have great men fell, to this nasty trick of crying card by the opposite gender…
Now I’m going to have to crack my head on how to get out from this terrible mess. The truth is, I am not ready to have a fucking rabbit in my house…