When I went into FuckChicken’s (my boss) office to tell him I’m quitting, he had just finished his breakfast. There were some remnants of what he had at the corner of his mouth, of what resembled uncooked rotten egg or animal sperm. It was a Friday morning, and I chose that very time just so that I could ruin his Friday, and the whole of his weekend. And he was most certainly unprepared of what I was about to tell him.
“Hey boss, just want to talk to you about my resignation.”
His mouth went wide agape, and I could see his half chewed food in his mouth. About one and a half second later, he asked
“Me. My resignation.”
“I’m resigning boss. I’m here to tell you that.”
His reaction after that can be best described like a doctor breaking the bad news to him that he’s having a terminal stage testicular cancer. There was no comment, no nothing. He just went blank, staring at me. Shocked shitless. But that was just the first part of the blow. I was about to deliver the aftershock…
“And I’m going for a short notice. 1 month.”
He got shocked even more shit-fucking-less. It’s like he’s just been told that he’s also having a terminal stage leukemia. It was before long he managed to whimper out something…
“I got a new job.”
“How much are they paying you?”
“A lot more.”
“And how much is that?”
He was delusional enough to think that it was about the money. It wasn’t about the money. It’s never about the money for me. Most of the people I know probably don’t believe it when I say, I never worked for money. But it’s the truth. I never give a fuck about the money. It’s not that I’m rich or anything, but it’s just the way it works for me. During the interview for the new job, the new manager asked for my asking pay, I just told him – pay me for what you think I’m worth. And that’s that.
“It’s not about the money.”
“I just need to know, so that I can benchmark if we’re doing it bad here.”
“I’d still quit and cross over, if they pay me less.”
He stopped asking about the money after that, for that fucker knew that I was pissed off about the system and everything. He continued to bitch about how short the 1 month notice is, and continued to rant about how difficult it is for him to get another candidate to fill my void. No shit sherlock. Who would want to have the workload of 4 engineers with no credit given…
“The new company actually offered to pay for me to leave in 24 hours. But I declined, and asked for 1 month instead. You should feel grateful.”
“Ok, I appreciate that. But it would really help if you could stay for at least another week…”
“That 1 week isn’t going to do jack shit on anything.”
“But it would mean a lot to me.”
He’s pulling the pity card. Pathetic asswipe. Like I would care what it means to him. Pissed, I then stood up and started to lecture him about how screwed up the whole thing has been. We engineers are required by the management to come up with risk management plans and cockloads of pFMEA sessions to foretell and mitigate risks when it comes to their engineering process. But on the other hand, these degenerates would do mistakes like overloading and abusing their engineers with tonnes of bullshit donkey jobs, and not having a contingency plan when any one of them leaves. And in my case, I have about 5 business units on my hands. My departure would leave a void so fucking big, that it’d suck passing light into it like a fucking black hole. He should have thought about this possibility even before I alerted him about my ‘shit about to hit the fan’ situation. But no, he’d sit on his ass all day and do nothing about it, but only to beg me to stay for another week when I tell him I’m gonna quit…
“I think 1 month is enough. I have already prepared the transition plan. You won’t have enough time to hire anyway, so just get a surrogate for a temporary transition, that should do the trick.”
In other words, it was a hint that he’s going to have to worry about that problem himself. In fact, teaching him that (the surrogate thing) was like doling out a donation in sympathy of his retardation. I have already done what I could. Had he been a good manager, he would have had a plan to contain this predicament without being this pathetic, if not avoiding this whole thing in the first place. He fucking deserved it.
A few days later, he actually pleaded me not to spread any ‘bad comments’ about the company, as he doesn’t want any of the ‘young engineers’ having a bad impression of his management. I told him I won’t, because I don’t have to. Half of them are already looking for jobs, and all of them already knew long ago that he’s phony. That motherfucker doesn’t even know he’s going against the traffic. I weep for you, Company Y.