March 12, 2012

division ‘unwanted bastard child’

*this is a long rant, you can choose not to read it*

Not long ago, I wrote about ‘the people from the main plant’, you know, the bunch of conceited but underpaid shit-stains who think they’re awesome because they have a bigger organization. Recently, there is this manager who just joined this group at the main plant, let’s call him Gaylord for the fun of it. Gaylord, being somewhat gay looking and wimpy, joined at the wrong time, for his main customer was at its raging peak stirring up fuckloads of shit about the quality of Company Y’s products.

That explains why this Gaylord was tasked with the seemingly gargantuan task of drafting a strategy plan of what he’s gonna fucking do to keep his job relevant (that’s what managers do). Now, Company Y at my division (division ‘unwanted bastard child’), is a completely different segment and Gaylord has no authority over what happens here at our place. That is why 1 week ago, he called for a meeting with our team to plead for help. He wanted us to draft a similar strategy plan, like theirs – which he’d need to park into his deck of presentation that would serve the one and only purpose – that is to bullshit his ass through this shitstorm.

Now, the most fucked up thing about this whole dirty business is, I was the one who’s got to do it for Company Y division ‘unwanted bastard child’. The Engineer. Who is given no power of whatsoever to make any changes. Hell, my manager couldn’t even get me an engineer, which I requested 8 months ago. I was already juggling the duty of 5 engineers at the moment, barely has enough time to eat, and these dickwads want me to draft a strategy plan for the company?? This should be my boss’ job!

Pissed off, I did what I think was pragmatic, given my predicament – I took a deck of slides from the admin (which details something irrelevant), and dumptrucked the whole thing to Gaylord, carbon copied all the useless managers in Company Y division ‘unwanted bastard child’. One of the program manager got fuming mad (because the presentation was his stuff), and protested with some single digit IQ remarks in shittier than elementary English, which I ignored. My boss – FuckChicken – on the other hand, felt a sting up his self inflated pride and made an effort to put up an additional slide to control the damage, which comprises of only 3 sentences in large fonts (that made no sense) on Friday. (I think that slide actually made things worse… he could have sent out a picture of himself naked sucking a cactus, it wouldn’t have been that bad…)

Today, FuckChicken summoned me into his office and he gloated over the fact the he ‘had to’ work hard to come out with a ‘STRATEGY PLAN FOR ME’ (again, the slide with 3 short sentences with wrong syntax) and reproached me for not being able to ‘carry out my duty’. I was very close to grab his throat and pummel his face into the back of his skull, but I remained calm and composed throughout – slowly plotting a plan to leave this fucked up organization. Division ‘unwanted bastard child’. Psssshhhh.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 

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