February 19, 2012

the muffin guy 2

I was looking around at a furniture fair the other day with Emily and Regine at a shopping mall, when I noticed someone staring at me from inside one of the jewelries shop nearby. It was a rotund young bloke behind a counter, with a diagonal comb over covering 30% of his face. He was standing amidst his group of female coworkers and was quick to look away when I started to notice him looking at me. He looked familiar, and I had to crank my aging brain hard where had I seen him before. It didn’t take long for me to remember, that he was the muffin guy – if you remember him. I blogged about this fuck stain four and a half years ago, when he was a teenager manning a muffin counter at a local hypermart. We had a little history of violence back when he was 10. Go read it here.

He must be in his early 20’s by now, and he has become a jewelry sales promoter. Still plump, overly fair in complexion, wearing an undersized long sleeved shirt embossing his muffin top (irony), and a perceived chic but revolting douchebaggy hairstyle. He first looked away and then pretended to be engrossed in a conversation with his female colleagues, probably exchanging tales about their dick sucking experience. I then pulled Emily’s sleeve and asked her to check out ‘the ah kua guy behind the counter’ – which she did and was kinda shocked when I told her ‘it’s the muffin guy’.

“Ohh, he’s so different now!” Emily exclaimed.

No shit sherlock. Used to be a fat kid with a waistline approximately 1 inch below the armpit. He used to look funny to me in a cute way. Now? He looked like he masturbates other guys’ dicks at night, and bluffs middle aged ladies to part with their money on overpriced jewelries during the day time. He sure looked different. And we relived the incident where I probably changed his life by teaching him the meaning of fear and pain with a ruler, which set his academic standards – albeit not very high – back on its inglorious path. His hairspray frenzy mom sure has me to thank for. I changed her son’s fate from being a hobo into an ah kua manning a jewelries counter. Not bad.

I was thinking, maybe I should have given that fucker a few more whacks, he’d probably be a lawyer by now… Oh well.

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 

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