Archive for January, 2012

January 18, 2012


My soon-to-be 6 year old daughter, in the car passenger seat, asked me about something she saw on the street outside…

Regine: “Daddy, why did that lady tie her hair up on the head like that?”

Me: “Which lady?”

Regine: “That lady, walking outside.” [points to a lady, with a beehive hairstyle]

Me: “I don’t know, she likes it that way perhaps?”

Regine: “But I don’t like it.”

Me: “Ok, but she likes it.”

Regine: “I think no one will like it. Her hair makes her look like an ultraman. And there are no girl ultraman…”

What can I say. She’s just being honest.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | Comments Off
January 16, 2012

Kim Gary – it’s fried rice, you plick

I’m sure most people have heard of the chain restaurant called ‘Kim Gary’. At least, most Ah Beng or Ah Lian yuppies do. It’s their favorite joint to be seen with a friend or two. During the weekends, you’d see these speshial peepel flocking to a ‘Kim fucking Gary’ at any time of the day, as if they’re giving away free meals (ironically, more expensive but mediocre food).

I’ve only been to a Kim Gary twice. The first visit wasn’t a fond one, because I did not enjoy the spicy noodle something something very much. It was expensive and too bland for me. The second visit was the other day, which also sucked for me – because the spicy noodle something something (another variant), was nothing more than a bowl of instant noodles garnished with shit I didn’t enjoy, for a premium price. But that wasn’t the highlight of the day. The highlight of the day, was this survey form. (note: will launch a new window upon clicking).

Excuse the bad scan but, can you see what’s wrong there?

If you don’t, well, let me list out the questionnaire on the survey form for you here (my comment in parentheses under each question)-

1. Did our staff welcome you upon arrival to kim gary?
(no comment on this)

2. Did our staff seat you probably?
(‘Properly’, not probably. wtf.)

3. Did our staff take your order immediately?
(no comment on this)

4. Were our staffs knowledgeable on the menu?
(Only on the menu? On the floor leh? Should be ‘Knowledgeable about the menu’)

5. Did our staff recommend you to try out our new menu?
(I guess the new menu’s cardboard material must be more delicious…)

6. Did our staff attentive to your needs?
(‘Were’ our staff…)

7. Staff is friendly?
(I guess this is the best question in the whole questionnaire)

8. Staff is helpful?
(Redundant question but, second best in the lot)

9. Staff is efficient?
(Excessive use of information transfer on paper, bills and complex menu selection. Answer is ‘fuck no’)

10. Staff is highly professional?
(They yell everytime someone enters the restaurant (see question 1), and none of the staff wears a cap. Answer is ‘fuck no’)

11. How is the appearance of the staff?
(no comment, but it doesn’t sound right)

12. Did the staff served the meal accurately?
(Should be ‘Did the staff serve’… but the correct way should be ‘Were your orders served correctly?’)

13. How would you rate for the food preparation time taken to be served?
(Should be ‘How would you rate the time taken for the food to be prepared and served?’)

14. How is the temperature of the food we served?
(Eh… present tense balik pulak)

15. Is Kim Gary staff good in service?

16. Do you need to take a long queue when billing?
(No I do not need that, thanks. wtfff)

17. When billing, did our staff request any Kim Gary member card or discount voucher to remind you to enjoy our discount?

Can you believe it? Kim Gary being such an established chain restaurant brand, doesn’t even bother about hiring someone who can write in proper (or decent enough) English. Fucking greedy capitalist jerk offs.

michaelooi  | what I saw  | Comments Off
January 6, 2012

tough luck bitch ass motherfucking life

Remember this guy? Well, he is now my direct boss in my current workplace. Small world, I know. But what can I do, karma has this tendency to fuck with you in the strangest of ways. I’d take it that intelligent people don’t get a lot of luck, taken at the ‘intelligent’ part.

Been having a lot of conflict lately with this guy, whom I’d refer from now on as – FuckChicken. In my recent work performance review, FuckChicken gave me an awesome rating, which I kind of expected considering the fact that I was the only one running 7 projects for him, while his incompetent ass was struggling to hire enough engineers to cover the scope. But there was this one little mistake he did in my review. He put in my record that I was ‘too emo’, and that set me off.

Let me explain why. You see, being a Quality guy in an organization is not an easy thing. You have to be nasty and tough, because the position is a counter-cost position (i.e. it costs more to have Quality). That means, everyone won’t like you, if you’re the Quality guy. I have been in the business for years, and I am inured to it. That’s why, the Ops guys do not like me. That’s because I execute my duties well, and the Ops guy had a tough time dealing with me (I am awesome). I am crazy, yes. I am an asshole, yes I am. I am unpredictable and psychotic, no shit yes. But I am NEVER EMO.

But then, this invertebrate chicken shit boss of mine, seem to have this balless trait that people like to exploit. He’s too soft for a Quality guy, and people used his soft part to make him cum in his vagina. That’s why he called me ‘emo’, and that I wasn’t being diplomatic enough. Well then, there’s this thick distinction between doing my job and being diplomatic, leh mah cheebye I tell you. You can never have both at the same time. FuckChicken is so fucking lame that he personally sent me emails a couple of times to stop me from executing people, and took over to suck some asswipe’s dick. I have never seen a manager stoop so low to suck dick. I couldn’t help but felt ashamed for being in the same department as him.

That’s why I had to confront him, and personally told him that he should really man the fuck up and grow some balls to do his job (particularly a badass manager who has been making FuckChicken his bitch). He didn’t take it well, and has been taking out on me by asking me to call more meetings (can you believe this guy??).

God I do not know how long I could last with this guy at the helm. I could have been a waayy better manager than he could ever be in a few lifetimes. Fuck me.

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off