Archive for 2011

March 13, 2011

tak boleh pakai

Saw this in TheStar today

Salon owner fined for letting employee wear ‘inappropriate’ blouse
KOTA BARU: A hair salon owner is fuming after she was issued a summons for allowing an employee to wear a three-quarter-sleeved blouse while on duty at her salon on March 6.

The owner, who declined to be named, said she was upset because her employee was washing a client’s hair when the Kota Baru Municipal Council enforcement officer raided her salon.

“I would not mind paying the fine if my employee was not wearing a headscarf, which is a violation of the business permit conditions, but it is ridiculous to issue a summons for wearing a three-quarter-sleeved shirt.

“She was washing my client’s hair and it would be messy if she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt,” she said.

The salon owner was issued a summons under the municipal Trade and Industry 1989 By-law.

She also accused the council of double standards as other establishments had workers who did not wear headscarves.

“Why only target my salon when the others clearly flout the law and should be issued with summonses?” she asked.

MCA central committee member Datuk Ti Lian Ker said the council’s action was “unconventional” and “unbecoming”.

“This is sending the wrong signal to the world about Malaysia,” he said, blaming the PAS-led Kelantan government for the actions of the council.

“Most people prefer to take the ‘easy way out’ for fear of repercussions from local authorities.

“This is not the first time that such a summon had been issued,” he said, adding that many often paid up because they did not want trouble with the local authorities.

Ti said this could also give the wrong impression that people were condoning such laws.

The Kelantan Government had recently come under heavy criticism after banning the sale of lottery tickets.

If you were to ask me what’s the most embarrassing thing about the opposition party, I’d say having PAS in it. We often find these PAS nincompoops do stupid things in the name of their religion, and put our country in a bad light. I understand that this PAS party is very ardent about their beliefs and shit but, really, isn’t this ‘going around to fine people for trivial stuff’ a bit ridiculous? Like, haven’t they got anything more important to do?

If you were to look at it my way, you’d see that this PAS party is against everything that has a connection to either one of these – money, looks and modernization. So in a way, if they were to be given a chance to run the government, they’d do everything in their power to regress the society backward, to become rustic, parochial and irrationally anal retentive bunch of shitfucks. The people will all dress the same color, grow a stupid goatee and smell like a clogged drain (the women on the other hand, will be reduced to wearing ponchos and reproduce domestically).

Looks like we haven’t got much choice nowadays… either BN, or Pakatan Rakyat. If your district only fields reps from BN and PAS, then you’re in for a tough choice. It’s like selecting to swallow a roach or a stink beetle. Makahai. Tak boleh pakai.

michaelooi  | snippets  | 12 Comments
March 7, 2011

hook up

‘Hook up’. Many people don’t seem to know this phrase really well. Apart from carrying the meaning of having a literal one time off steamy sex, this phrase actually carries something that is profoundly deep in meaning. Something that boldly defines the level of bond between any 2 individuals, especially in this modernized world where putting one’s life in danger for a friend is no longer a pragmatic approach. But able to ‘hook your friend up’ is.

So what the fuck is actually a ‘hook up’? Simple – to lookout for a job opportunity. I don’t know if any of you uses the phrase ‘hook up’ for this but, this is what I use for my friends. I ‘hook them up’. It works like this, I help to keep an eye for something my friend is looking for, and go the extra mile effort of WANTING to help him/her get it. Or if it is just some position which I think swells, I’d hook him/her up too. I don’t need to lose a body part or sacrifice anything, just forward a resume to the hiring asshole. And this is even easier with the advent of wireless communication devices. It’s almost effortless. Just a click of a button.

Why the need for a hook up? one might ask… It’s because of how things work (or rather, doesn’t work) in this world. Because by the time you see something suitable in the ad or job search engine, thousands of contenders would have gotten word of that position and everyone gets that proportionately less chance of winning it. A ‘hook up’ saves you the time of having to bet on your luck to millimeter through the stack of applications other assholes vie for. You go beeline to the hiring manager, through a ‘hook up’. That’s how awesome it is. There are in fact, many big corporations that are exploiting this ‘hook up’ idea. That’s because they can save a fuck lot from having to pay for advertisements. They’d just ask the existing employees to ‘hook their buddies up’ and achieve the same objective!

Over the years, I’ve attempted and successfully hooked many people up. And I’ve been hooked up by others in all my 3 jobs too. A cousin to his company (my first job), a friend to Company X (he was an employee there) and recently, someone I hardly even knew hooked me up to work in Company Y. It has become a way of life for me, and also I believe, for many.

But sadly, there are still some fucked up cynical people who still live under a rock that they foolishly believe everything revolves around. I’ve came across a couple of guys whom back then I thought were my friends, who told me to ‘check out the ads in the newspaper’ when I asked if they could hook me up for anything. Like, I don’t know how to read meh you fucking cibai?? They just don’t know what a fucking ‘hook up’ means. Sad sad motherfucking bunch of retards, these people.

So, be learned. Know what a ‘hook up’ is. Don’t fucking ask your ‘friend’ to ‘check out the ads’ when a hook up is requested. It’s insulting. Just do it or don’t.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 7 Comments
March 5, 2011

Let Me In (2010)

We’ve seen a lot of vampire flicks… but how many of them were really good? Not many of them. Especially the more contemporary ones, where vampires glitter and look like they’ve been getting it a lot in the ass. Sad to say, the horror genre tanked big time in the 21st century. Fucking Twilight. How I longed to see something really dark, different and mature. Something that is not too over the top, yet dark and sadistic enough to make you cringe.

And this one is it. It has been some time since I watched something this good. The title’s making it sound underrated, but it was a surprisingly awesome watch for me. There isn’t much of a plot in this flick though. In fact, if you were to summarize it really short, the plot’s kinda similar to Twilight – it revolves around the romance between a mortal being and a vampire. Only that this was done in a more tasteful fashion, and very much less complex (and not gay at all).

The movie’s about a lonely 12 year old boy who’s in the middle of a breaking family, who hasn’t got much friends but a few bullies who keep breathing down his neck. Doesn’t seem to have much of a life, quirky and utterly miserable. But life gets interesting for him when a vampire girl tenant moves in to become his neighbor, whom he befriends and takes a liking. The boy doesn’t know the girl’s a vampire at first, but he eventually finds out. Now this vampire girl, instead of having glittering skin and drives a sports car, she looks something like that gollum in the Lord of the Rings, and she doesn’t tenderly suck blood like a paramour giving a lovebite. She rips her victims’ neck off and she could climb the wall like spiderman. What’s most enjoyable of all, is that nobody could fuck with her. She just eats everyone but that boy. Story’s linear, straight and simple. I finished the whole thing in 1 watch. A good one.


michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 7 Comments
March 2, 2011


Ever heard of people saying – ‘Be a man’ or ‘Do you have the balls?’

As you can clearly tell, these are often associated to men. It’s all linked to being virile and stuff. The testosterone. But do you guys also realize, that these phrases are often directed to men only? Why ask a man to ‘be a man’ when he’s already a man? Doesn’t that sound just strange to you?

Ahaaaa my friends, that’s because, a lot of men are not ‘a real man’. They’re phonies. Just like my boss, Christopher.

That balless son of a bitch is not a man. He is created from the ribs of a flightless avian.

How did I find out? Well, he once threw his tantrum at me about something that was very trivial and castigated me for being a chicken shit for not confronting a level 10 manager for that unimportant matter. But when I dared him to invite the level 10 manager into the showdown right at that very moment (the level 10 manager was sitting just at the next room) – he chickened out, asked me to ‘follow up’ myself.

That’s like, a general pushing his horse to confront the enemy. What the fuck.

I eventually called for a meeting to resolve that ‘miniscule’ matter nevertheless, but quite opposite from how he behaved before, he spoke suavely like a chicken shit when confronting the team of people (I was expecting more from him). And that wasn’t even the level 10 manager himself. It was a lower ranking loser representative and in the end, the matter didn’t get resolved. Pffffhhh

michaelooi  | rantings  | 10 Comments
February 28, 2011


Remember Rob my ex-boss? The person whom I claimed to hate most? Well, not anymore. Someone have just taken his rotten spot. It’s Christopher, my current boss. As fate have it, my first boss in Company Y had to be someone worse than Rob, in all ways I never thought could even be possible.

Fuck my life.

I have to admit, my first impression of Christopher was a good one in the interview room. He seemed tactful and calm in demeanor, there wasn’t a hint that he was a consummate asshole. I first noticed some clues of him being an asshole only a few weeks into the job during the departmental lunch. I had to hitch a ride in his car then and was hit hard by a bitter revelation – he listens to boy bands. You know, uber gay boy bands like N’Sync, Backstreet boys, 90 degrees celcius, etc? Unbelievable yeah. I was shocked shitless. A bloke in his mid 40’s who listens to boy bands is so fucking wrong on so many levels. And as if his profoundly bad taste in music wasn’t bad enough, I also noticed that he carries an iPhone, with some gaudy Black Eyed Peas (or was it a Lady Gaga) ringtone. I’ll let you be the judge of that.

And that was the first of many things to come. It wasn’t too long after that I started to realize that he’s not right in the head. I had my taste of his anal retentive shitfuck requirement once, when he told me that I gotta put double ended arrows in my Gantt chart instead of colored bars. In case you don’t have a clue how ridiculous that was, it was like saying getting shot ten times is better than getting shot twice times five. It makes no fucking difference. And there was also once, he openly yelled at me in a meeting room full of people, just because some of the meeting participants DIDN’T READ A DOCUMENT I SENT OUT. Can you believe that? He fucking reprimanded me for that, instead of confronting the perpetrators. Of course, I didn’t just stay still and be a sitting duck. I duly riposted, which greatly displeased him.

“They didn’t read the document, it’s their problem, not mine!”

He was dumbfucked, as he didn’t expect me to shoot back because he thought I was lame or something, like everyone else he presumed to be. A self centered gayfuck of an asshole he is. That, my friend, is how wretched my boss is. That episode sort of kick started a deep enmity between the both of us. There goes the saying of ‘never fuck with your boss’ thing because it simply isn’t possible now at this stage, when my wellbeing is at the mercy of a degenerate who is not worth of any respect. We kind of had a few altercations after that in a very short span of time, but it culminated in a confrontation at his desk a couple months back, but that’s a story for another time.

Again, fuck my life.

michaelooi  | characters  | 3 Comments