September 19, 2011

passions of kerala sucks donkey cock

I went to one of my favorite banana leaf Indian food joint the other day with wife. It was one of the very rare occasions when my wife and I could eat in peace without our 5 year old daughter asking us shitloads of questions. So we made the outing count, and chose to have dinner at one of our favorites – Passions of Kerala of Gelugor- which was also conveniently near my place, and which we hadn’t gone for quite a long time.

But everything was fucking wrong that day. It started with a treatment of cold shoulder. Gone were the usual greet of friendliness and instead, we were rudely warned beforehand (upon entering the joint) that the restaurant was busy, and we had to wait for quite a while. It didn’t concern us that much so, we decided to wait for it. After about 5 minutes, a middle aged Indian lady came over and hastily took our order (with an annoyed look), which was fine. And we waited somemore, for about another 5 minutes, before our rice was served.

Then came this skinny fuck who asked me in something rather unintelligible. When I asked skinny fuck to repeat, he said:

“Curry, what curry you want? Fish or chicken?”

So I replied “Chicken curry”.

Then he gestured ‘no’ with his hands. Ran out of chicken curry, he said.

“So then, what else do you have?”

“Only fish curry”

That was so fucking stupid. I was so tempted to ask, why did he have to ask then, if fish curry was the only thing he had?? I mean, he could have said so like “I’m sorry bro, we only have fish curry, do you want fish curry?” or something like that. But no, he had to be like a total dickhead.

So I went with the stupid fish curry, which by the way, tasted like crap. In fact, it was the crappiest fish curry I’ve ever tasted. I mean, I could have stirred in a pack of cheap curry powder with my piss, it would have tasted better. But that’s not all of it you know, for the attitude of the Indian lady was the worst of the lot. Apart from having the murderous look of a pissed cunt who just had her clitoris clipped in a door jamb, the bitch went on ranting how she fucking ran out of cabbage because the motherfucking customers had too much of them. Can you believe that?? It was like a doctor ranting to you how pissed he is looking at sick people all day…

And then she went on to bicker with her co-workers in Tamil about some customer shit, which kinda sounded like they weren’t too thrilled to serve the patrons or something like that. The experience was so unpleasant, that I swore in my mind about a few hundred discriminatory things that I could think of right there and then. We fucking left the place after having the crappiest dinner ever, but not without being slapped with a stiff bill – 32 bucks for all of those fucking shit, and heavily watered down lassi that tasted like cibai. I paid the pukimak bitch a note of 50 with a small change of 2, but she rudely claimed it was already keyed into the registered, and threw back all the small change (mine and the bill’s) on the counter.

So, what was the tally of the damage? Everything. Bad parking, expensive food (which I didn’t mind back when the food was still good), crappy food, stinking attitude, stupid waiters. I mean, what more could one ask in a restaurant? Unless you want to get your shit ruined for real, I’d say, stay out of this joint – Passions of Kerala. The place sucks donkey cock. It used to be a good place to dine, but not anymore. Go whiff a pack of curry powder instead, it would probably be a better deal.

The place has since returned back to its former glory. The fucked up Indian cibai workers are no longer there, and was replaced with a few hardworking and awesome (which I believe) Nepalese young servers. The food is now back to being awesome, albeit still expensive, I’d say it is now one of my most preferred places to eat in. :-)

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

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