April 20, 2011


This morning. My car. BAM! A motorcycle.

It was awesome. I have always DREAMED of sending a motorcyclist flying, and it finally happened today. Though it wasn’t intentional, but the experience was as gratifying as I imagined it would be.

It was an all too common case of a motorcyclist being a consummate idiot. I’ve encountered them doing maneuvers that are beyond comprehension thousands of times before, but all they got was a treat from my super loud air horn. The guy I sent flying this morning however, was a bit unlucky. He got both my air horn, and my bumper.

It happened after I made my move when the light went green, and at about 10 meters’ mark, the motorcyclist suddenly appeared 2 feet in front of me from my blind spot, cutting diagonally across my path. The result? Him flying about 3 – 4 feet away and landed on the tarmac. I got down from my car to have a look and saw this middle aged scrawny guy who resembled a goblin – sitting on the road with this confused look (he didn’t know what hit him). I then did a quick assessment

– motorbike, although still pinned under my car, looked fine. Just a bent mirror.
– My car bumper, fine – just some minor scratches.
– The goblin guy – fine too. He wasn’t dead nor writhing in agony.
– the traffic – not fine. It was starting to pile up from behind.

So I decided to settle things like, pronto. First, I helped him to get up on his feet and asked him a series of questions :
“Are you alright? What were you thinking? Were you trying to kill yourself? Are you drunk? Are you sleepy? etc”

He only answered he was alright but stayed silent on the rest of my questions. He then told me to let him get his shit together for a short while and stood there like a stump (I reckoned that he probably wanted to ask for a compensation for the accident). So while waiting for him to ‘get his shit together’, I dragged his junk motorcycle out from my car, put the damn thing on neutral (the idiot was already on his 4th gear – that means he didn’t stop at all) and dragged it out of my car’s way. Then I instructed the guy to pick up his stuff including his pair of sandals (they were at 2 different locations) and told him – “Now if you want to get your shit together, do it by the roadside there. Don’t fucking block the traffic. You’re lucky you didn’t die today because I wasn’t doing fast enough for it to happen.” It’s true. If the light was green all the way, I would have gone faster, and he would have transformed from a goblin into a goblin burger patty. And that’s not going to be cool.

I then got into my car, and he slowly rode off. Not a single fuck was given that morning.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

7 Comments to “accident”

  1. chichicha says:

    did you bet on the goblin’s plate number?

  2. Tan Yee Hou says:

    The fucked up thing about accidents with bikes is that the cops are usually pro-bikes.

    Even in a clear cut case like a bike rear-ending you, you (car) will usually get the fall.

    Fucking bikes.

  3. ahsiang says:

    I got a few times that motobikes come from behind and bang my side mirrors whenever traffic light turn to green. I don’t want trouble, so let them go….not really, they don’t give a f*** to stop and apology anyway. :D

  4. t0ts says:

    Oh, couple of weeks back, I had the unfortunate experience of a motorbike turning left behind me despite me using the signal. He was going so fast he hit into my car rear door. Already there were cars parked at the side and there was no way he squeeze through even if he were riding faster. I dont understand what these guys are thinking sometimes

  5. waichunko says:

    God damn motorcyclist. Stop and go anytime they wanted to. Couple of times sudden brake being applied to avoid them. Either they are too fast or slow and riding in the middle of the road without consideration. Served them right if they met with accident but let it happened on their own carelessness and not involving other parties.

  6. lalala says:

    i can soooo relate to this. every morning there is bound to be an idiotic motorcyclist that pisses me off by zig zagging between my car. or honking at me when i overtake lanes because i’m blocking their “lane”.

    OR not forgetting idiotic ones who cut into your lane and ride at turtle speed, forcing you to slow down….

    once i honked at this motorcyclist who came out of nowhere and i was an inch away from banging him down. he got mad and tried to kick my car thinking that it was his bloody right to just cut into someone’s lane like that….

  7. tzerkin says:

    these fucktards are always the biggest menace on the road! forget about those lala mods cars these people just hog the road like their damn dead grandpa owns the bloody road!

    not to mention they can escape easily when they damage your car. but make more noise than an annoying lala bitch when you even just touch them!

    seriously fuck them all

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