December 30, 2010

2010 roll up

I have to admit, I haven’t been particularly fond of 2010. You see, I’m a guy who pines for mediocrity, who likes to play things safe. I’m the kind of person who avoids interaction, calculate my steps ahead, plan for my outings right to the idea of where to park the goddamn car, et al. If you look at it in an angle, you can say that I am suffering some mild variant of OCD crossed with a partial mental condition of being antisocial (with a little hint of Tourettes). Yeah I am like that.

So, naturally, when I left Company X with that large sum of VSS payout, I immediately tumbled into a vortex of darkness. Being somewhat of a ‘going alone’ kind of guy, going around for interviews wasn’t particularly my idea of having fun. So, it didn’t take very long for depression to set in. I had insomnia, and I even dreamnt about some of the douchebags I met in the interviews ruining my shit. I started to develop this feeling of weariness, of the need to suck ass, just so that the douchebag on the other side would hire me.

Anyway, I bummed for a total of 1 perilous month that felt like forever before I found a job at this place which I named as Company Y – a fast paced MNC that squeezes its employees over and over like an overused giant sugar cane machine. But in between the tremendous pressure and inadequacy, I have done more useful stuff in 3 months than I ever did at Company X in a year. So, in some aspect, I am grateful that I am learning and progressing – but on the other, I’m kinda sad that the quality of my life actually tanked (which I don’t want to talk about).

So much about my career. My daughter Regine turned 4 this year. She started to dine and talk to us like a regular person. She’s able to speak fluent English and Mandarin now, and a little bit of a couple of dialects. She’s also kind of self sufficient – which is somewhat a relief for both Emily and I – being able to flip switches around the house on her own, go to the toilet without needing any assistance, switch her own channels on the TV, doing her own shit at her own time and in some extend, even uses my computer to entertain herself. I reckon that it won’t be long before I’d need to buy her a computer. I’d say my little girl’s growing up a bit too fast. I’m finding it hard to catch up.

I guess that’s about it. 2010 was all about big changes for me. Didn’t enjoy it. Don’t feel like talking much about either.

There will be no resolution for the new year. I might do something about that feeling of weariness that keeps growing every day though, and if I do, it’s going to be an even bigger change than that hellish period of ultra fucked up uncoolness. If that happens, I’d definitely write about it. But until then, I’d continue to wallow around until I find light, and hopefully, get my life back.

Happy fucking new year. Don’t drink and drive.

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 

16 Comments to “2010 roll up”

  1. Arkane says:

    Don’t forget that quality of life is also an important factor in work. At least that’s what I believe in.

  2. ahsiang says:

    happy new year everyone!
    and yes, don’t ever drink and drive, I have personally see some “after action” on the xmas day morning.

  3. woody says:

    Happy New Year !

  4. Ryan says:

    Happy New Year!

    I wish you and your family good health and lots of happiness.

  5. teo says:

    Happy New Year to you and your family. :)

  6. Eric says:

    Happy New Year – May the best of 2010 be the worst of 2011!

  7. Max says:

    Cheer up man, listen to this Happy New Year all ^^ n dont drink and drive and read. :)

  8. Silencers says:

    Hey Mike, been a while since I dropped by my favourite bitchin’ engineer blog. *raise glass* Here’s to hoping 2011 will bring you more opportunities to bring yourself back up! Nice to see you’re still blogging like you always have ;)

  9. azlin says:

    happy new year michael!

  10. Nicevil says:

    Take 2:49 minutes out of your depressive cycle by watching this.

    If this doesn’t make you see the light that is right in front of you, nothing will.

  11. mott says:

    well…. have a pain-free year ahead.

    I too am not looking forward to this year. Go figure.

  12. SPF 88 says:

    What’s up Snoop Doggy dawg?!

  13. SPF 88 says:

    Would you like to be \Bond\/Bone/ Cat or Hello Kitty? Or Crayon Shin Chan? @.@

  14. SPF 88 says:

    Well .. any answers yet? Or do you have other characters in mind, Sir?
    Here’s some porn music for you sir. Lolsz.

  15. ShaolinTiger says:

    I know what you mean, and how you feel.

  16. 2010 Was the year I did not regret leaving my Engineering/Technical Job and doing a 180ยบ into Diary Sales. My two girls are growing up and I needed more $$$ to make sure they have a proper education in their future.

    But man, what a year!

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