July 21, 2010


I was having my lunch with a bunch of workmates when a clueless dolt colleague (a male) asked me a silly question,

“Hey Michael, do you have any idea which part of the cow is the rib-eye?”

A cow has many parts with specific names and only 2 are known to me. ‘Edible’ and ‘inedible’. ‘Edible’ is like, the meat part, and ‘inedible’ is parts like hooves, horns, bones, etc. So obviously, it was a mistake to ask me because I don’t give a shit which part of the cow is rib-eye, sirloin or groin, as long as it is meat and it is edible. But I was trying to be creative with my reply, and shot him this,

“It’s the dark and wrinkled region between the cow’s penis and nutsack.”

Imagine that in Hokkien, with luncheow and lamphar. That was what I said.

It was meant to be a sarcastic reply but I totally forgot that my manager also brought a female guest and she was just sitting right beside that colleague (how could I miss her, escapes me), and she heard everything I said. *facepalms*

My colleague tried to discreetly alert me about her being right next to him and that was when I went ‘Oh shit!’, and braced myself for a potentially career threatening situation. Luckily, she took it well and let out a sporting laugh. But still, ‘PHEW!’. It could have been tragic if the female guest was an asshole and went to our HR to lodge a complain.

What a stupid boner. This wasn’t the first time I got into shit like that.

michaelooi  | happenings  | 

6 Comments to “rib-eye”

  1. Primrose says:

    LOL! I don’t give a damn either as long as it’s edible meat. But I believe that Victoria Station’s menu (back page) enlightens you on cow parts and its names. :)

  2. littleComma says:

    Hahha .. notty !

  3. Arkane says:

    Careful, you never know what is behind that diabolical laugh of hers !

  4. EinsamSoldat says:

    Just ask the waiter/captain what is the best recommendation based on your preference. What part and what meat it is the restaurateur to recommend to customer. Not for us to learn… unless you want to impress some pussy(getting into her pants) which coincidentally she digs guys that knows this stuffs.

  5. Eric says:

    I guess being ourselves has a price tag on it. You’ll never know (well sometimes you do) what people are going to do with the words you said – context, twists, tai chi, all sorts of manipulation, etc. Careful man! You may not be off the hook yet.

  6. michaelooi says:

    Primrose – Yeah, I think if we dig hard enough, can also find it on the net.

    littleComma – The lady, you mean?

    EinsamSoldat – The waiter was a macha… if I ask him which part of the beef tastes best, he’ll either look at me square in the face, or punch me. (the lady however, will tell you it’s the ‘shaft’… heheh)

    Eric – Aiyaa, off already lar. It’s my final week in Company X next week.

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