June 16, 2010

job interview

Had my first job interview in years yesterday. It didn’t go very well. Everything was so wrong yesterday, it was as if some supreme being was trying to fuck with me. Let me summarize the whole thing in point form:

– I wasn’t given info about the job, just the title and a call for an interview.
Long story. I got a mail-in help to deposit my resume at the company, didn’t apply for a specific post. Then I received a call from the HR a week ago, asked me to attend an interview for a position with a somewhat misleading (as I found out) title. Turned out to be something I didn’t expect (out of my league) and for the first time in my life for a long time, I felt like a complete dolt.

– It was raining cats and dogs at the time of interview.
The company was located at some bumfuck location I wasn’t familiar with, the rain couldn’t have came at a worse time. The GPS could only help me so much in locating the place, I had to look for the entrance at the massive site under a blanket of heavy downfall. The lack of parking space made the whole experience even worse.

– A jerkoff security guard was sore and tried to fuck with me.
I eventually found a parking space, but I was lost in locating the entrance after alighting from the car. Saw a security guard ambling by and asked him for direction. The fucker turned hostile and yelled at me:
“Why did you park your car here??”
“Why not?”
“You are not allowed to park here!”
“Then where should I park?”
“Out on the streets, elsewhere!”
I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but I decided to walk off because I did not feel like doing it. He then hollered to another guard to get me to move my car (because he couldn’t make me do it) but his colleague just gestured him to shut the fuck up and proceeded to point me to the entrance.

– I was put in a H1N1 quarantine room for 15 mins.
Bizarre yes, but apparently, that was the only room available for use at the time. There was this big ass note outside the room stating “Influenza A (H1N1) Quarantine Room”, and I was put in there for 15 minutes (the interviewers were late). The worst thing is, there was a big glass pane overlooking the corridor, which made me conspicuously visible to every passerby, who probably thinks I have H1N1.

– I was interviewed by 2 highly technical personnel.
The most dreaded form of interview – a panel of multi interviewers shooting you left and right. I was grilled/toasted for 45 minutes by Jack Bauer and his Jack Bauer clone assistant. It was the most uncomfortable experience ever, because the 2 guys were really hard to impress – due to the fact that their company is doing way more advanced stuff than Company X. (I was like, a wildebeest interviewing for a soft porn protagonist job). I don’t think I’m gonna get the job. If I do, Arafat will rise from his grave and perform a ketchup dance.

– I was shot at by a policeman and paralyzed from my left nut right.
I made this up. But even if this were to happen, it couldn’t have made any difference to my spoilt day.

I know now, why people fucking hate job interviews.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

14 Comments to “job interview”

  1. Quinn says:

    Ahhhhh Michael….tell me about it. I’m still looking and my job everyday now is to pick up calls and sound polite and do phone interviews where they ask you shit ass questions like ‘Tell me a time where you have to work in large group and was there any obstacles and what did you do to overcome it?’ and so forth…all that shitty questions that people could easily make up answers for!

  2. ShaolinTiger says:

    Haha yah it always goes wrong on interview day, but sometimes things can surprise you. Good luck bro.

  3. Eric says:

    Mike, the HR screwed it up, they should have given you at least some prelim/background info on the role first, i/o sending you straight into the slaughter house – the way you described it, the event was a total mess. Well, cheer up & gear up for a sunny day soon!

  4. Arkane says:

    Well look at it as a blessing in disguise. Since the 2 techie might be your immediate boss if you made it through, you probably wont impress them anyway and since they like giving you a hard time during the interview, what’s stopping them from being hard on you on the real job ?

  5. michaelooi says:

    quinn – Phone interview? Wow. How inconvenient. I prefer to talk face to face.

    ST – Thanks man

    Eric – That’s what the interviewer said. Shouldn’t have happened. The HR screwed up.

    Arkane – They didn’t actually actually give me a ‘hard time’. I think I handled myself pretty well. It’s just that I don’t think they’re convinced I’m right for the job, hence the barrage of questions. But yeah, if I go through, it’s going to be tough and challenging, no shit.

  6. Quinn says:

    The problem with Australians, they have so many stages for fresh graduates, two phone interviews (one with HR and one with line manager) only followed by a face-to-face interview and then a site visit to test your technical skill before you’re hired. Anywhere in between you fucked up, you’re eliminated. I absolutely fucking hate it!!!! Anyway Michael, I wish you the best of luck and no man on earth deserve to go through what I am going through. Good luck mate.

  7. Ryan says:

    What is your field of expertise?

  8. feizal says:

    It’ll turn up alright bro.. I’m sure somebody up there made u screw up, so ud be fated for a much better job elsewhere..

    U don’t wanna rant about going apeshit with that guard for the rest of your life.. Haha

  9. michaelooi says:

    quinn – You know, with your cooking/baking skills, you can just open a deli and enjoy working while getting paid a lot. ;P

    ryan – Why? You’re hiring?

    feizal – ‘Somebody up there’ screwed a lot of things, not just me

  10. Ryan says:

    The company that I am working with is hiring Mechanical Engineers.

  11. moo_t says:

    From what you just describe, if you think you are not on par to work on that company which “more advanced than company X” , prepare for surprise.

  12. camlok says:

    Damn, that sound a lot like my company….

  13. sweewon says:

    Well something good might come out from the things we thought we screwed up (vice versa), happened to me all the time with “exams”. Good luck!

  14. michaelooi says:

    Ryan – I’m not of mechanical background… thanks for the info anyway.

    moo_t / sweewon – It happened to Cinderella too.

    camlok – Mine too. I guess they’re all the same.

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