I saw this fat mamak (Indian-Muslim) guy when I was having my dinner with my family yesterday. He ambled into the coffee shop looking hammered, and teased the fat coffee shop lady owner who was frying some chickens nearby, who also seemed to know him. The lady didn’t give a shit about the guy, and then hollered to her husband (who was inside the premise) to make something (inaudible) for that almost shitfaced mamak.

Then the mamak guy went on his way towards a table – in a rhythmic gait like he was Mr. Fucking Bojangles – all smiling and talking shit to himself. When his drink was served, he even teased the fat coffee shop lady owner’s husband, who also didn’t give a shit about him. He then continued to talk and laugh to himself. At that instance, I started to get a bit disturbed and worried because I realized that he wasn’t really hammered, but more like out in the head. You see, he was just a table and a half away from us, which was really near. Trust me, when you have your own kid with you, you’d be worried when you see a madman within 100 meter proximity.

Anyway, I kept an eye on that mamak blimp, you know, just in case he goes amok or something like that. But luckily, he kept to himself the whole time, except for some really bizarre twitching and self cackling. Then suddenly, that guy turned to look at me, and it hit me like a train after I got a good look at his face. That guy was someone I knew! He was one of my primary school classmates! And if I remember correctly, I think I may have even pummeled him up before!

The guy’s name is Ahmad Anwar. Remember the story I wrote about my friend Pukemachine who stole a calculator belonged to someone named Maqbul? Well, this Anwar guy was Maqbul’s bitch. They’re always together. They came to school together, sat together, ate together and played together. In today’s society, they would have been duly labeled as ‘totally gay’. But they were just very close (ok, I don’t really know. Come think of it, they COULD be gay). So close, that the teacher thought they were fraternal twins.

I remember this Anwar used to be a skinny fart who was a very reserved character. He was always filthy and most of his exercise books were stained with curry (along with Maqbul’s as well), and he always get reprimanded by the teacher for having the curry stains on his exercise books (which was really funny to me at that time). He was always the last 5 in class (if not 3), and I remember he could not even recite the full list of alphabets in his late primary. The guy was lazy, a total mess and was destined to be a bum in his adult life. Looks like he got more than what he was destined for. He is now an orang gila, a madman, talking to himself and the parasites inside his bloated belly. This is just so frigging sad.

I was so goddamn worried that Anwar would come over to my table to remind me of something I don’t remember (like pummeling him up when we were in school?). But luckily he didn’t. He didn’t even know that I was me. So I quickly got my wife and kid to finish up and left promptly. Anwar gave me a smile before we were out of his sight. Creepy.