Archive for March, 2010

March 2, 2010

be a sport

This morning, I heard from a friend relating about how his boss was so bitter about an asshole manager who instigated some of his ‘talented’ workers to defect to another department. That was when I remarked to my colleague – “Your boss is a sore loser”.

That’s right. For whining like a cheebye. Instead of figuring out why his employees left his department, that guy chose to whine and bitch about how unethical it is for someone to woo away his workers. Boo hoo. It is as if his employees belonged to him like a commodity, and are destined to work for him forever.

Then I said to my friend – “Didn’t your boss read ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’?”

You can’t keep a great general in confinement doing menial things. A great general is born to do great things, expecting great rewards. If you do not provide enough for him, it will be a matter of time before that great person decides to leave for a better prospect. If for some strange reason the general choose to be a bum working for you for a lesser reward, then that general must not have been that ‘great’ in the first place, or he must have hurt his head pretty bad when he was a kid.

Same here. You can’t expect your employees to be happy with their job if you do not provide enough to keep them there. Common sense 101.

Think we’re all here working for the company? We’re here for the money, numbnut – if you don’t know that already. No money, no honey. And even if the money’s good, it still pretty much boils down to how satisfying and rewarding the job itself is — to sustain my psyche — although that can still be compromised with a huge paycheck. There you go.

If you’re one of those whiny boss, be a sport. This is strictly business, nothing personal. Just shut the fuck up and spare your generals’ backs please.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 3 Comments
March 1, 2010

Mike the waiter

Manager approaches Mike the waiter, who is working on something at the restaurant,

Manager: “Mike, just wanted to let you know that I’ve fired Arun the janitor. In case you’re wondering why he doesn’t show up today…”

Mike: “What?? Why did you do that?”

Manager: “Cost reduction initiatives. He has to go.”

Mike: “Then who is going to sweep the joint, clean up the toilets and empty the trash cans everyday?”

Manager: “Errr, you mean, he had been doing all that?”

Mike: “Don’t you know that? He’s also the sole person in-charge of washing the dishes.”

Manager: “Oh crap… I didn’t know that… Can you guys cover his job then?”

Mike: “Then who’s going to wait the tables? You, Manager?”

Manager: “Hmmm let me think this through… I’ll get back to you on this…”

An hour later…

Manager: “I think I have plan. We sub-contract the janitorial job out to a third party service, how’s that?”

Mike: “So, you fired the janitor, and now you want to sub-contract out his chores to a third party service?”

Manager: “What’s wrong with that?”

Mike: “Don’t you reckon that it’s still way cheaper and easier to hire back Arun for this?”

Manager: “No it’s our HR policy. We can’t get Arun back once he is out. And our headcount is frozen, we can’t hire a new one either. We have to stick to the plan. I’m going to assign you this project. It will be a good opportunity for you to improve yourself.”

Stress veins start to pop up on Mike’s head. He removes his apron, and lunges at the manager. Then he uses the apron to strangle the manager till he is choking for breath and takes out one of his handy ball point pen, and repeatedly stabs the manager in the face until he is no longer moving.

Mike the waiter then lives happily and peacefully ever after inside the prison.

michaelooi  | imaginations  | 5 Comments