A very freaky morning – that’s what I had today. I was at the station to refuel my car, when a super ugly fat lady came ambling over to where I was, and asked me this
“Is it working?”
She was looking at the credit card machine at the pump when she was saying that. No she was not looking at my cock.
“Oh, the machine? I don’t know. I haven’t tried yet. I’m going to try now.”
“Well, the machine’s down. I had to pay at the counter inside.”
There wasn’t any sign or indication that the credit card machines were offline, which they usually would when that happens.
“You mean, all the machines are down? Or just the one at the pump you’re using?”
“All of them. You need to pay inside.”
“Ok, thanks for telling. But I’m going try it anyway. If it really doesn’t work, I’ll pay inside”
“No, just go pay inside. The machines are down.”
She started to get very pressing and I started to feel really annoyed.
“Ok, like I said, let me try the machine first.”
“No no no… pay inside. Just go in there and pay.”
That was when I snapped.
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FUCKING BITCH!” and I threatened to punch her. She then dashed to her car, and took out a wooden baseball bat. I responded by prancing around with the praying mantis styled kungfu (popularly known in the elite sparring circle as ‘The Puchong Alarm Installertion’ maneuver), and that was when she foolishly charged forward with the bat. I took hold of her hand with my monkey grip and wrestled the evil bat away from her hand, and flung the damn thing away while punching her with the other free hand of mine. Then I sealed the deal with a round house kick to her skull, which knocked her out cold.
Alright, that was just some wild imagination. I obviously had someone in mind when I was writing that. But the whole thing was true up until when I got annoyed with her persistent badgering, to which, I had to reply her like SIX FUCKING TIMES, that I would like to try out the credit fucking card machine first, before she would finally leave me alone. I swear man, I was very close to yelling at her and show her what ‘The Puchong Alarm Installertion’ maneuver could do to her…
Freakiest morning I ever had. (for the record, there wasn’t anything wrong with the machine).
Were you wearing a pink ahbeng style t-shirt?
Omai, I actually imagined you doing the Praying Mantis dance with your hands hovering in front of your face, glaring into your enemy!! Awesome!
Maybe it was that the same lady kena conned in your previous blog entry. :)
My Buddha Palm more powerful than your Puchong Alarm Installertion
ST – Eh, I thought the red one is the ah beng? The pink one is the sohai. I’m neither…
Caroline – And the half squat stance ala karate kid style, with both my cupped fists menacingly flailing around…
woody – Oh my, must be helluva coincidence!
arkane – No you don’t understand the powahhh of Puchong Alarm Installertion.
Can u show some info on this ‘Puchong Alarm Installertion’ move in ur next blog? Maybe illustration or photo? I foresee some of us may need this move handy at the pump station soon.
Well, these are just one of the many busy bodies lurking around. I’ll normally act dumb and not utter, but when provoked, a simple f**k-off will do the job.
she fancies u la mike. But too boneheader with her p.r. skills.. Haha
or it might have been loraine
Perhaps she had a good intention but didn not execute it well. She should have mind her own business then to assert her advise to others. Or perhaps she made a bet with someone if she can “advise” you to pay in the counter.
You have yet to tell if the machine works or not.
So ???
eric – Some goon actually pulled this stunt at Puchong… see the video here.
Calvin – I’m a nice person, you see… that might not be a viable option (at the moment) for me. That’s because I’m gonna be jobless very soon…
feizal – I’m not dismissing the fact that she could be a carjacker in disguise.
EinsamSoldat – Yeah, mind her own business. As if I wouldn’t know what to do when a credit card machine goes offline… right?
raymond – Come on man, you’ve got to be shitting me. Check out the last sentence. (yes, the one in parentheses)
up till now. I don’t know why this lady wanted you to pay inside.
You’re not alone Mike. I have a friend who possesses a similiar character as the fat lady. He often looks at the 50% of a situation and assumes to understand the rest of the 50% details. He’ll then misleadingly deliver the message to you while trying his best to convince you if you responded untrustfully.
Ya, same lady I bet you, the left over effect of slimming down black magic. :)
-woody