January 13, 2010

the orphan

I’ve always fascinated with the idea of being an orphan. On my way home from work today, I expressed to my wife how envious I am with being an orphan – for the orphan, though lonely he might be, has all the advantages set throughout his life.

He won’t have to worry about anyone judging him on what he does. He won’t have a cousin who always does better than he can ever do, and no one’s going to compare him against anyone. He won’t have any sibling whom he’d have squabbles with, and get hurt in the process. He won’t have to see his parents be in the worst possible shape when they get sick and he definitely won’t have to see them die one day. No relatives to badger him, and no blood relation obligations.

He’s all liberated and is set to live his life the way he wants it to be. He gets the whole blank canvas for himself to paint the colors with. It’s all about being him. But the only downside about being the Orphan is probably, loneliness. Can be quite a bitch. But then, loneliness isn’t much of a big problem if you were to compare that to the stuff I mentioned above. For loneliness, we have our friends, lovers and PS3 to alleviate the pain. It’s still a better trade off than the scum and filth we humans have to contend with every second of our awakening moment. I’d trade all my troubles with loneliness, anytime.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

13 Comments to “the orphan”

  1. Z says:

    Be careful of what you wish for…

  2. Eva says:

    Hah. When I was 5, when my mum gave birth to my bro, I’d always wonder what will it be like if he hadn’t come along. Then now, with the shitty relationship I’m having with my parents together with a fucked up extended family (both sides, yep!) I wish I was an orphan; or that all of them would just leave me alone.

    But this is an Asian society. Filial piety, which I think is bullshit, is to be held above all else (i.e instead of living your life / you have a duty to graduate from university with a professional degree and make tons of $$$ to support your parents with their Mars-sized ego, cos they did neither family nor financial planning when they decided to have you). Sucks X2 especially when you have a drama king and queen as parents.

    Hence, I feel that the important thing is to maintain a healthy relationship with your parents/child(ren)instead of depending your life on them. Or else you’ll end up wondering, yep, how awesome it is to be an orphan. ;)

  3. Tan Yee Hou says:

    But when they get into what we call normal society, they’ll have a sudden rush of shit to deal with which is harder than being gradually introduced to it.

  4. cLiu says:

    must be a lot of troubles come to you lately ya. if not, y will u have that thought?

  5. bs says:

    Wow Michael, that thought never occurred to me before but now you really got me thinking about it.
    Even with a family, I still feel lonely as shit. Sometimes the pressure from my parents get so great, I just don’t know what to do. Sometimes I just feel as if they’re pulling me back and putting me down. Sometimes I feel so fucked up I just want a blank canvas to start all over again.

    All I’m sure of is I never ever want to start a family cos the world certainly doesn’t need more fucked up people.

  6. jen says:

    i’ve always wished for the same. what a coincidence.

  7. poker says:

    I have been reading your blog for some time and this is the first time I am posting something.

    This entry really got me thinking. Whilst I appreciate the existence of my parents, family members etc. I am also aware of the massive responsibilities that come with it; more so if you come from a Chinese family. At times, the expectations and pressure are just too difficult to deal with that I wish it is just the world and myself.

  8. feizal says:

    what you mention above does sound awesome mike.. Yet no matter how much shit ive had with my parents, i still can’t see life without them..

  9. woody says:

    Mike,

    I kind of like the second comment by Eva, sorry, not that I like your blog entry less :)

    ” But this is an Asian society. Filial piety, which I think is bullshit, … ”

    Also, being born in Asia and brought up here makes you feel like asshole when you say “NO”, especially, when you have an deep blood ties uncle that got rich by some illegal means, yet, whenever you “have” to meet them near festive season, they said all kind of shitty things and you still have to put up to them, and keeping nodding yes yes yes.. in agreement.

    Once , I came home said to parent, “The guy is a big asshole, our society is getting worst each day because of people like that”, my parent almost smacked me, “he is your uncle, you, how come so lack of respect “.

    That got me wondering, if I ever become a policeman one day, and I am told to arrest him, would my parent be standing on the way of me doing my job begging me to give him a chance. I seriously think they would. Luckily , I grown up and never had to face that situation. He died a few years ago, his sons and daughters are fighting among themselves now over his ill gotten gain.

    I shared the same sentiment, if I never had to consider the obligation of blood ties to the objectivity of me having to do my job properly, I am sure I can do a better job in making any decision,. Being orphaned probably removes that extra factor.

    -woody

  10. nicholas says:

    funny, after living overseas for a period of time for my studies i found my parents to be the best parents ever. something i probably wouldnt have realised had i never been separated from family.

  11. Ashley says:

    All I have to say is this: with all those “disadvantages” of being an “unorpahned” child come love and laughters which outweigh the former by a significant margin. It is simply beyond people’s capacity to understand what it feels like to be an orphan, but I guess most would choose to have pain and love rather than nothing at all. Same goes with marriage: we sign up for the whole load, good or bad, we are lucky to have experienced it…but being an orphan, one does not have a choice, wouldn’t that be terrible?

  12. Connie says:

    I was adopted from Korea when I was 9 months old, and while I was not an orphan for long, I can tell you that I found a lot of things about your post to be alarming and way off base. it
    to me it just sounded whiny and self involved. instead of complaining that your cousin is better than you, why not think about all the great things about yourself and work on being the best you can be? and the complaints you had about your family…ridiculous. To wish that you never had a family at all is pure selfishness. family enriches our lives and the struggles we endure from them makes us stronger and build character. have you ever thought that your family needs you? maybe you could try to make their lives a little brighter and happier and easier by being around instead of wishing you weren’t. I can tell you that I feel extremely lucky to have been adopted and cannot imagine a life in an orphanage without ever feeling loved or truly supported. I think about all those chldren in Haiti, newly orphaned and confused as hell. If I was done with grad school and financially stable, I would adopt one in a heartbeat. the world needs more people who are willing to reach out and love others because that is how we teach them compassion and comfort and the joys of being a part of a family.

  13. michaelooi says:

    Connie – Oh connie, don’t go ‘Haiti’ on me… that is so lame. If you feel extremely lucky with your adopted family, then good for you. If you have plenty of love to spare, then spread some. Just don’t expect everyone to be as happy and lucky as you are.

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