Conversation took place in Company X cafeteria, without the presence of any female colleague…

Me : “So Hewey, tell me, are you a tit guy, or an ass guy?”

Hewey is a manager in Company X, married with children,

Hewey : “I like tits more. I’m not so much of a fan of asses. Just tits.”

Me : “Alright, you’re a total tit guy then. I’m kinda half half. I like both tits and ass. I think it is important that they complement each other well.”

Hewey : “It’s always the tits for me. The first thing that I check when I meet a female, are her tits. So to say, I meet the tits first, then only the person. Nothing else matters to me.”

That didn’t sound right to me.

Me : “Whoaa, wait a minute. You mean, you’d just indiscriminately ogle at tits without giving a damn about who that person is?”

Hewey : “Yeah. I don’t really care about the rest. Tits first, everything else later.”

Me : “No that’s not right. What if you see someone like Lim Ah Lian? It will be disastrous…”

Lim Ah Lian is a female clerk in Company X who weights about 500 pounds, with tits so massive that they could be used as a pair of jumbo jet wheel stops. She’s so seriously tragic that another colleague of mine named his Rottweiler after her…

Hewey : “I’d still look at the tits first.”

Me : “I don’t think that should be the way. A normal person would do a crude scan of the whole package first, you know, to see if the subject’s attractive or not, then only deep dive into her tits and ass. ”

Other colleagues nodded in approval. But Hewey was resolute in his tits-first-die-later approach…

Hewey : “Like I said, I don’t really care. Tits, then package.”

Well, what can I say, I guess every man has his own fetish, and Hewey’s happens to be huge mammary glands. I wished him luck after that and we moved on to another topic.