Archive for January, 2010

January 26, 2010

HPS list

I don’t know about you guys, but I think the idea of creating that High Performance School (HPS) list by the Malaysian government sucks. Isn’t that a form of discrimination? You identify who’s awesome, and give them incentives or shit like that, while the under-performers get nothing. It sends the wrong message to the young, don’t you guys think? That it is ok to stereotype, to discriminate, to discern who’s strong and who’s weak and give them preferential treatment.

Shouldn’t our children be taught how to treat everyone equal? How to help the needy? Sure enough, many think that the list and 1 million bucks would serve as a motivating factor for schools to work harder to get into the goddamn list. No doubt that the idea could probably work on some level… but in a bigger picture, I think this could cause a negative effect in the long term. For example, when a school fails to make into the list after putting enough effort to improve, it could also seriously jeopardize the morale of everyone involved. Not to mention the possibility of making the pupils feel inferior for being in a non-listed school. Parents on the other hand, will be more inclined to send/transfer their children to a listed school (kiasu mentality). The teaching staffs will also suffer some form of demotivation.

You see, you only mend the roof if it’s leaking. You don’t mend a perfectly good and non-leaking roof. It’ll be a waste of effort. Same thing applies, if those schools in the list are already that good, why would they need the 1 million bucks to enhance themselves? Shouldn’t the money go to those that needed the money most? I remember seeing headlines in the paper about schools asking for funds to fix their cracked walls, damaged desks/chairs, etc. Even my school once had to ask for donations from the alumni to renovate its facilities because it had gone to the stage of being dangerous to the students. How about that? I’m sure there are even more schools out there (esp the rural ones) that could use a little help to upgrade something.

Instead, I think the government should create an opposite list. Top under-performing schools of the year. Make it top 10 for each state. Then inject some PhD manpower into the schools as their personal consultant (since we have so many of those ‘meritus-meritus’), to review what went wrong and change the way they do things. Enforce KPI for the teachers and review their performance. Or perhaps to make things simpler, eat the humble pie and rope in some help from other top countries like Singapore or Australia. Ask them how do they do it. Pay them 200 trucks of sand for a contract to uplift our standard or whatever (our sand is pretty much useless to us anyway if our people are stupid and incompetent).

I’m just a stinking engineer and this is what I can come up with. I’m sure there are enough genius around to be able to come up with something even better. That HPS idea? That is so amateur. It’ll get us to nowhere.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 19 Comments
January 25, 2010


I was at my cube working when I had the sudden urge to defecate. You know, the kind that comes out without warning and full of fart. I didn’t want to wait until it gets out of control so, I quickly rushed to the nearby toilet – in hope that the condition does not develop into a full scale diarrhea. (it was quite a distance from my cube to the toilet).

But before I could even reach the toilet, I was blocked by this fucking dumbass manager who wanted to have an impromptu discussion with me. You see, there is this one thing I absolutely abhor about the managers in Company X – is that they have the tendency to stop you in the middle of a corridor and engage you for a discussion. They never call your desk phone when you’re at your desk, or when you’re in the same meeting with them. They always do it at the corridor. I don’t know what the fuck’s with that.

That was exactly what’s happening that day, and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. I wanted to go to shit very badly. But I couldn’t escape, because the manager is an important person, and he was asking me something even more important. I realized that I couldn’t just wave that fucker off so, I decided to play along nice, and held on my urge while fending off the manager’s stab at my knowledge. It took him about a whole minute – which felt almost like forever – before I could resume my rush to the toilet to shit. I swear, if I were to be held any longer, I would have farted right in front of him or worse, soil my underwear. That would have been catastrophic.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s going to help if we can have a special express lane in the office dedicated to the people who do not want to be disturbed. Or perhaps a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ pass in bright yellow around the neck that gives absolute immunity from any form of disturbances to the wearer. Those who violate the rule, shall be made to wash all the cars in the parking lot, or made to empty those bloody pad bins inside the Ladies for a work Quarter. That’s definitely going to perk up the productivity a little.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 6 Comments
January 22, 2010

what have i learned? – 03

FYI, my VSS application has been approved by the management of Company X. But I will only leave the company at the end of July. So, I have about six months hanging in the office. Long way to go, and plenty of stuff to clean up.

Anyway, I managed to squeeze some time to shirk off and thought it would be fitting for me to continue what I started a couple years back – on what I have learned from my work in Company X… [to continue from this post – “what have i learned? – 02″]

Lesson 06: An ally is more useful than an enemy
A person, no matter how incompetent or abominable, is more useful to you if he’s your ally, than becoming your enemy at work. Being your ally, that person will be more inclined to help you, to give you opportunities and in some really bizarrely rare cases, even sacrifice for you. The worst thing, not doing anything at all. But if that person were to become your enemy, that person will be more than glad to get the opportunity to see you fall or stick a knife behind your back. So it doesn’t take a very intelligent person to figure out what’s the better deal here – get yourself an extra ally, or an enemy.

I’ve learned this many times before, because I started as a very bad tempered person. Burnt many bridges. That was a mistake. (still occasionally make mistakes today. Can’t help it. Being nice is a bitch. But I’m controlling it.) Never ever burn bridges. That’s because you do not work at the same place all your life doing the same thing, and reporting to the same boss. Those bridges that I burnt (shitloads of them), may very well be the ones that I needed to use to cross chasms and raging rivers in the future. And you’ll never know if the idiot you just swore as your enemy, could potentially be your boss one day (as I have seen stuff like this happened before). So why take the chances? Just keep your shit together, it goes a long way.

Lesson 07: You are dispensable
You might think you’re the Chosen One, and no one else can do your job but you. Well, if you have a functioning vagina and a dick long enough to fuck yourself in your own cunt, you could be right. Otherwise, you’re delusional. There’s nothing in your workplace that no one else can do. Ergo, there’s no reason for you to be a total dick and act snooty all over, simply because you’re overly complacent about your position in the organization. Remember, you’re just a small pawn in a big functioning system. You’re hired to do the job. If you won’t do it because you think your dick is too big, there are always others out there waiting to take your place, and your boss will not hesitate to make that replacement.

I’m just glad that I am never that type of person. I never get pricky with my job. I can get pricky with other stuff, but never over my job. But I have seen people in Company X act difficult simply because they think their job is important and indispensable. Now that is just wrong. From my 13 years experience with Company X, I’ve never seen anyone whose job and position is indispensable. Even a CEO could get axed in as short as a week’s time. Always present yourself well, learn how to adapt… for nothing is safe and permanent.

Back to work.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 7 Comments
January 20, 2010


Think you have the worst boss in the world? Wait till you read this (this was told to me by a friend, attested by a few more of my friends who work in the same office):

There’s this lanky guy whom I know. Let’s call him Ah Boo (not his real name). He’s a manager for the company he works for. Under him, are a few engineers, amongst them, is the friend who told me this story.

Now this Ah Boo, is a well known philandering married man. He’d fuck anything that breathes, and he’s not afraid to let everyone know it (well, except his mean ass wife, of course). However, his carnal escapades are only confined to the females, and he’s not a bi. So, he’s pretty much a straight guy. But unfortunately, his indifference to his own self esteem and big mouth one day misfired and sent the wrong message to his boss – a Korean guy who goes by the name Jung.

Jung, being somewhat bored in this conservative hot hellhole of a country, summoned Ah Boo alone into the office pantry one fine afternoon in pretext of discussing something important. Ah Boo unsuspectingly walked into Jung’s trap. Once Ah Boo was in the pantry, Jung suddenly broke his calm into this epileptic seizure of sorts, and started to dance like Michael Jackson in front of Ah Boo… you know, the moonwalk, crotch grab, woo hoo and shit. Ah Boo was of course, dumb-fucking-fucked, because he had never seen anyone did that in front of him before, especially a high ranking director in his organization. Jung continued to dance like Michael Jackson for quite a while before he finally stopped, gave out a satisfying flirtatious smirk and left Ah Boo startled in the pantry.

When the bizarre encounter was told to the rest of the colleagues, none of them knew what the fuck was that all about. But all of them agreed – that was the freakiest shit ever. I told my friend, it’s probably a mating ritual dance and not a good sign. It’s not normal when someone privately dances like Michael Jackson in front of a guy. If that were to happen to me, I’m going to probably beat the crap out of that faggot Korean to a pulp out of sheer reflex. It’s disturbing to the core and should never be tolerated.

But Ah Boo decided not to do anything about it, and decided to live with it. His mistake. That was only the beginning. From then on, Jung got bolder and started to harass Ah Boo overtly. So far, I have heard about Ah Boo getting pinched in the nipples, dry humped in front of his bewildered colleagues, fondled around in the office and even asked to apply ointment on his ass (I know, this is getting unbelievable). God knows what else happened that we do not know of, which Ah Boo’s probably going to bring with him to his grave.

Ah Boo is still working in the same company though, still with Jung smirking behind his shadows somewhere. Probably getting sexually assaulted as I am writing this. Not sure if he ever thought of reporting to the authorities or consider leaving the company. Maybe he actually enjoyed it, I don’t know. But the key idea is, I want you guys to know that there’s such creepy ass boss in existence, and this is not something you only get to see on TV. So, the next time you think that you have the worst boss in the world, think again.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 11 Comments
January 18, 2010

Genting Highlands

All my life, I’ve never been to Genting Highlands for more than 10 times. I have to admit, I am never fond of that place for many reasons. I’ve only been to the casino to gamble 2 – 3 times, and have never really roamed the other areas, especially the theme parks, until last Friday – when I decided to bring my 3.5 year old daughter (with my wife) to the theme park(s) there.

So, did she have a blast? Somewhat. But not for my wife and I. We (I) think the whole place sucks donkey cock. First of all, I find that everything there is too expensive (including the rides). Not that it’s new or anything so, I’m ok with that. Secondly, as one of the major national tourist attractions, I think the place is not up to the supposed standard. Many of the areas are dimly lit and poorly maintained. Garbage littered everywhere, walls overgrown thick with moss and fungus (also, check out the water in the flume ride, it’s brown in color ughhh). Makes me feel like I’m visiting Pudu bus station. And then the toilets. Man, are they a true reflection of our Malaysian public toilets. Cracked tiles, cracked mirrors, overpowering stench of ammonia, flotilla of unidentified brown objects in the bowl, what more can I describe. It’s a turn off.

But what’s most disappointing of all, is the seemingly long face of its employees manning the rides in the theme parks. I mean, I do not really expect them to be enthusiastic with their menial job or anything, but I believe ‘being friendly’ pretty much comes as part of the job. Just force a fake smile, I don’t care. Just don’t fucking make it look like we owe them money or something. But alas, none of them smiles. It is as if, Genting has a tacit no-smile policy in effect. If any of them is caught smiling, the perpetrator will be forced to clean the filthy toilets (that’s why they’re not smiling, and the toilets are so damn fucking dirty).

Well, except for one weird Indian guy who manned that 4D motion something something ride. He was the only guy who smiled at us. He would have won the ‘employee of the month’ (if not year) award, if not for his eccentric behavior – when being asked a question, the guy would beam a megawatt smile and give an incoherent one worded reply, and enjoy the shit out of himself seeing others getting frustrated. I fell victim to his shenanigan and so did a few foreigners. The guy’s obviously not right in the head, that’s probably why he smiled at us. Or maybe he just wanted the sense of control he has over others, which he probably doesn’t get a lot from the much more intelligent society… I don’t know.

All in all, Genting’s definitely a sad place to be. Overpriced, over-crowded, bad services, and poorly maintained facilities. It’s nothing more than a souped up gambling den for people with money to spare. If you ask me, I’d say it is a waste of time and money to go there for a holiday. If you insist, allow me to suggest Pudu bus station. Or Penang’s KOMTAR. You’d get the same experience, at a much cheaper price.

michaelooi  | places  | 12 Comments