Whenever I am cutting through the country roads when fetching my wife back to her hometown, there is always this one type of driver that peeves me down to my spine – I’d call them, The MBs. It is an acronym of something rather insensitive, so, just take it as it is.

These MBs, are usually identifiable by their trademark of sticking an arm out of the window. Usually males of Malay descent. No one knows why do they do that. Some say they do that because they smoke. But I’ve seen many of them who weren’t smoking, and would still stick out an arm just for the hell of it.

Now, why do I harbor such a deep animosity towards these MBs? That’s because they’re road hazards and they make our lives difficult. How? By driving like sloths. Almost all of them would drive at speed lower than 30 kph. That’s roughly the speed of an old man with arthritis on a bicycle. If one has a skull cap on, that’s a Pak Haji variant of the MBs. These Pak Hajis are the elites of being extremely slow like fuck, and their speed is roughly 20kph to a total stop on the middle of the road. These people are so slow on roads, that heavy trucks are desperate enough to overtake them at tight corners – endangering the oncoming traffic in the process. God knows how many people were killed in road accidents because of them.

I suspected that these people drive so slow because of their intrinsic habit of being rustic. Pretty much like why a dog still runs in circle before going to sleep despite living in an urban setting. These people are so used to riding on bull carts and buffaloes, that it got ingrained in their DNA to move at that range of speed (this also explains why they are not able to operate any indicator switch inside a darn car. Carts and buffaloes do not have switches). That’s why when they get to drive a motorized vehicle, they couldn’t help but being fascinated with the fact that they don’t have to feed that thing some hay or flog it to make it move. Just step on the pedal and off they go. They’d then stick their arm out of the window to feel the wind caressing them and have a Pocahontas moment there.

To all of you MBs out there, fuck you. I hope all your chickens will turn into toyols and steal all your goats, and you’d have nothing to fuck when you’re bored.