Archive for 2009

August 9, 2009

don’t censor

That’s the Old Man’s way to tell his government lackeys who has been peeving him all these while – LEAVE THE PORNS ALONE!

Internet should not be censored, says Tun Mahathir
KUALA LUMPUR: Former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad said Saturday the Internet should not be censored in any way, and it was wrong to do so although some things needed to be disciplined.

“For example, there is too much violence coming through on the Internet.

“That, I think, we have a right to ban but as far as political thinking, if you are not instigating violence and things like that, I think the Internet should not be censored in any way,” he said.

He was speaking to reporters after delivering his speech at the Third Annual Malaysian Student Leaders Summit here.

He said that during his time of administration, he had given the undertaking that the government would not censor the Internet when it started the Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC) years ago.

“So maybe that was an undertaking given by me during my time. I don’t know whether that will commit the present government,” he added.

On Friday, Information Communication and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim said the government was looking to put up Internet filter to stop access to undesirable websites. However, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said the government had no intention of monitoring and censoring the Internet contents as the move would not only be ineffective but would also cause public dissatisfaction. – Bernama

Hell, I wonder if there is going to be another massive street demonstration in KL if the government were to censor porno on the internet. Probably a few dozen candle light vigils around as well. With dick and boob shaped beige candles of course.

michaelooi  | snippets  | 2 Comments
August 6, 2009


My daughter Regine caught a rather bad cough so the doctor prescribed medication through the nebulizer for her. I do not know what the drug is called, all I know is – that shit is expensive. And because the nebulizer would churn out the med into gas in a constant manner, most of it (about 40 – 50%) would evaporate into the air.

That was why when Regine was trying to talk too much during the inhaling session, I sternly told her to “Stop talking and whiff the gas”. The reason is simple – the more she talk, the less gas she inhale, and more gas gets wasted. May not be significant, but at least it spares me from the psychological misery having the impression that I’m paying a lot for something to let off into the thin air.

But one of the shapeshifter nurses heard me (asking Regine not to talk), and came into the booth we’re in wearing this smarmy pedophiliac fake smile, and told Regine “No it’s ok. You can talk.” then turned to me and said “In fact, we encouraged some children to sing.”

Big mistake. First of all, it was rude of that nurse to interrupt my private family conversation. Secondly, I was offended with the fact that she was trying to overwrite my authority as a parent by speaking directly to my child. Thirdly, she’s being a motherfucking retard to ask my child to talk during an inhaling session (why couldn’t she just mind her own goddamn business??). That was why I decided to lash out at that nurse,

“How the hell is she going to inhale the gas if she’s talking??”

“Yes, one can definitely inhale while talking.”

Well, that’s something new – I thought. Maybe she has that special ability that no one else has.

“Ok, can you show me how do you do that (inhale and talk at the same time)?”

She didn’t/couldn’t show me. But she heard me, and came up with this lame ass reply,

“Oh we can definitely do that. We actually do it automatically.”

Automatically. Yeah right. Like an automobile gearbox? Or was she inferring that she could breath through her corrugated folds of wrinkled skin like a fucking frog? Nobody knows. I didn’t bother to further continue the conversation and waved her off – because I knew it would be a complete waste of my time.

It just pisses me off when someone stupid tries to act smart.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 10 Comments
August 4, 2009


Being a metrosexual has gone to a whole new frightening level in the 21st century. So frightening, that I seriously believe that if we do not do something about it (whether scientifically or psychologically), the male gender is going to obsolete its own balls and grow a vagina instead. Don’t believe me? Tell me, how many of you guys do these… :

Expensive shampoo or conditioner for hair
I’ve seen some guys discuss their shampoo preference openly. You know, split ends, dry hair, dandruff. What kind of extracts from which type of exotic plant it has. I do not know since when do guys worry about these petty stuff. What’s wrong with ordinary shampoo??

Expensive facial treatment
It’s also equally disturbing to know that some pussy boys pay to have their face washed for 2 hours. The end result? Still the same face. These metrosexuals don’t seem to be able to understand that our face secretes stinking oil/grease every fucking second and no facial treatment could prevent that from happening (unless of course, if you’re a corpse).

I heard this on the radio the other day, that Pietro guy went to get his nails done. I was like, WTF??? It’s unbelievable really. Why would a guy need to get his nails done? Fucking escapes me. To enhance the experience of scratching their man-vagina perhaps.

Powder on face
I kid you not, my wife once saw a Malay neighbor (who’s a doctor) powdering his face inside his car with an applicator (which looked something like a miniature Roti Naan). He’s probably on his way to get his annual pap smear, I guess.

Trimmed eyebrows
There’s a rather effeminate guy character residing in our HR department at Company X, who had his eyebrows regularly trimmed thin like he’s auditioning for a drag queen contest. But that guy’s a guy though, because everything else looked normal – except his pair of fucking ridiculous eyebrows. So damn fucking pondan-ish.

Hand lotion
The only justifiable excuse for a guy to use the hand lotion, is when he needed to lube his dick for an aggressive session of anal sex with his girlfriend. Other than that, it’s just inexcusable. I’ve blogged about this before here.

The list goes on. Those are the disturbing ones that I know. Maybe only the tip of the iceberg, there are probably more disgusting ones that I couldn’t imagine. Like I have said, man we should really do something to change these pussy behaviors lest we’d all evolve into one common androgynous specimen…

michaelooi  | ramblings  | 16 Comments
August 3, 2009

say no to traffic jam

I don’t know if this is just me, but I think the recent street demo to call for the repeal of ISA is just so lame and uncalled for.

I know I may get a lot of flak for saying this but hey, this is just my opinion. If you think I’m wrong, well, you can fuck yourself with your opinion too. You know why I think it is so fucking lame? Think of it like stabbing yourself with a knife to quell a headache. The pain from the stab wound would overwhelm the headache and voila, no more headache. That’s how I see the whole fracas as. But sadly, some of these demonstrators are taking it as if they’re ‘sacrificing’ themselves like a martyr for a great cause, whilst they’ve achieved nothing but to create a nuisance that riled many.

If I were to be given the choice to prioritize the problems we have in the country, hell, I’d give ‘traffic jam’ a higher priority than having the ISA repealed. Can’t you see that this is so fucking senseless? Taking to the streets, halting the entire city, and endangering the safety of others (some morons even brought their kids to the demonstration) for something that’s not going to affect their life at all? Sure, there are elements of abuse in the judiciary/ISA system, but SO IS EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE GOVERNMENT! We’ve seen the basic human rights getting violated in broad daylight like a cheap prostitute (stuffs that affect everyone directly), and yet these dickwads are worried about ISA?? You’ve got to be shitting me!

For me, taking to the streets = bad idea. It lends credence to your enemy to call you the ‘bad guy’. I think this is nothing but a cheap call for some attention and if that’s the case, there are certainly much better ways to achieve the same result without inconveniencing others. Now, not only the ISA stays, but we all have to contend with the bullshit expenses that the government’s going to come up next, which I’m sure a large portion of it is going to end up in the pocket of certain quarters i.e. the cost for spent tear gas canisters, riot gears, water by thousands of gallons, medical expenses for sprained FRU dicks, fuel claim for the black marias, etc – all bled from the taxes we paid.

If those moronic demonstrators had used a wee bit of their common sense, they would have saved the energy and used it to convince every damn person they know to VOTE OUT those whom they think are too incompetent to run the country. Not enough votes to oust them? Well too bad then, maybe your cause isn’t as popular as you thought it is. Try again next round. Just stay off the goddamn roads.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 15 Comments
July 31, 2009

underaged pirate

My 3 year old daughter has been going around the house lately to ‘claim’ stuff as her’s. So far, she has claimed her writing desk (of course), her book rack, our room door, the dining table, a couple of dining chairs and the wall.

Then yesterday, she came to me, flashed me a quick smile and ‘claimed’ one of my most prized possessions…
Read the rest of this entry »

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 7 Comments