Archive for November, 2009

November 16, 2009

Hidden minefield in shopping malls

It’s true. They’re there. Hidden minefield in shopping malls. But only the people with children can see them. They’re called ‘kiddy rides’.

These kiddy rides, they aren’t usually confined to a specific area, but are scattered all over the fucking mall. Most of the time, you’d least expectedly run into them at strategic places that you can’t avoid like the walkway to the escalator, or the foyer right next to the lavatory. You won’t exactly know they are there either, until you see them, which is already too late.

And these ‘minefields’ are not like any regular minefield. It does not mean that if you are careful enough not to step onto a mine, you won’t get hurt. The mines in the minefields are alive. You don’t have to step onto any of the mines. The mines will come to you. Just like that ‘magnetic mines’ you see in Terminator Salvation. Only the difference is, instead of using a magnet to do the trick, the ‘kiddy ride’ mines use bright colors and exaggerated cartoon characters to daze kids, and entrance them to do the evil bidding of parting money from their parents.

Each ride costs about 1 to 2 bucks. Not much to many of you, but consider this – all a ride ever does is repetitively move up and down (or sideways), and lasts a little less than a minute. And they’re basically all identical with seemingly limited entertainment value, only with different shapes. One can basically get more by driving a car with stiff absorbers through the ubiquitous bumps and potholes on our Malaysian roads. But for some fucked up reasons, kids can never get enough of them. They’d scream and squirm out of clutches, and their parents would get a momentary glimpse into the future on how their kids would misbehave when they see their favorite boy/girl band. And before you know it, you’re paying for a few rides, just so that the rugrat won’t spoil your day any further. And that’s just one minefield. A few more to go.

And I got an extra a couple days ago. While lifting my almost 20kg daughter onto one of the rides, I hurt my back. And now, I am having difficulty to pick up a bar of soap on the floor without looking like I just had my dick circumcised with a can opener. I think I’m gonna blindfold my daughter the next time I go to a fucking mall.

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November 12, 2009

titties make you smarter

See? I told you guys before… Males are the most misunderstood people on Earth. Little does the world know that all along, we’ve been drooling at big tits not because we’re pervs, but because we appreciate the intelligence!

Women with bigger breasts found to be smarter
A STUDY conducted in the United States showed that women with big breasts are not necessarily less intelligent than those who are less endowed.

Quoting a Singapore newspaper article, Sin Chew Daily said women with bigger breasts were found to be smarter instead.

It said the study was conducted in Chicago to find out whether the size of a woman’s bust affected her brain power.

The study, involving 1,200 women, was conducted by a female researcher. The subjects were divided into five groups, from extra small to extra big.

The report said it was possible such women were smarter due to the higher level of female hormones that could result in better development in the brain.

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November 9, 2009


Speaking of having babies, I don’t fucking understand why do people get the compulsion to ask if we’re going to have another child, as if having children is like a scheduled product launch from a fucking factory. If my wife and I are going to have another child, then wouldn’t they see my kid already? And why does it even matter to them? Fucking hell.

The truth is, it’s all about the budget. Life in the 21st century, does not actually warrant us to have multiple children unless one is making a lot of money. Some of you may not agree with me (and fuck you), but it’s true. At least from my perspective. Allow me to convince you :

First of all, we need to find out, how exactly much does it take to raise a child? There’s no definite answer to that but, we can work out a gross amount based on my daughter. But before that, a disclaimer – I do not intend to raise my daughter to become a lame-ass social garbage, so this calculation is based on an assumption that we’re dumping in a considerable amount of money, in our best ability, to give her a good quality of life.

Alright, first of all – the milk feed. We give her the best milk there is. Abbott’s Pediasure something something. A can costs about 105 bucks (at a discount), and would last approximately 2 weeks (she took more when she was younger). That’s about RM210 per month.

Solid food. She consumes porridge cooked with meat broth. Once a day at home. Twice in the weekends. I don’t exactly know how much it costs per meal but, let’s throw in RM100 as an optimistic figure.

Daycare. She goes to a daycare center so that my wife and I can go to work. The daycare makes sure she gets fed everyday, and also learn how to read/write there. It costs us RM450 per month, and another RM150 per semester, and once-a-year-each concert/excursion/holiday-camp events (which I’m not going to include). Roughly works to about RM475 a month.

Clothes and toys, we took a lot of used stuff from relatives and friends. Medical covered by our company (first child only). And miscellaneous. But still, we factor in about RM50 (this shall include – vitamins, pro biotics, orders at restaurants, stationery, books, foot wears, kiddy rides, birthday expenditure, etc.)

RM210 + RM100 + RM475 + RM50 = RM835. Give or take 10%. You ask any parent, this is actually not a very realistic figure because this figure does not include a lot of things like vacations, road trips, the amount of electricity it takes to keep the little human happy, conveniences to keep him/her clean, etc. The real figure could come close to RM1k (even more as the kid grows). But hell, for simplicity’s sake, let’s take the figure as it is.

We paid about RM4k for her vertical take off from her mommy’s womb (gonna be less though, if your child comes out the conventional way). So in all, that works to be like, a 10% downpayment for a Perodua Viva, and a monthly installment of about RM835. Not for 4 or 5 years, but for about 20 years (or until she finds a self sustaining job), and the amount is bound to steeply increase in the future (money to go bowling, movies, other co-curricular activities, etc).

Now, ask yourself, how many of THAT KIND OF Perodua Vivas can you afford, without the need of doing a drastic cost cutting measure at the expense of your child(s)’ well being, on top of what you’re already paying – mortgage, your real car(s), bills, fuel, food, parental support and what-nots. If your answer is more than 1, and still confident about being able to cough up that big lump sum of college fund for all of them, with your retirement fund still intact, then congratulations rich man. You rock.

(For the record: my wife and I are not having more than 1 child due to a few reasons, not only this).

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 17 Comments
November 5, 2009

feel important

One of my wife’s colleague is pregnant with her third child, and has been acting smug about it. She thought that it is the smartest thing to do that she manages to keep it secret from her husband. It makes her feel in control, she said. When the time comes, she’ll just tell it to her husband’s face that she’s going to fucking have a baby and there’s nothing he can do about it.

It was needless to say, an innuendo to my wife that it is important for a woman to take charge of her own life. I don’t know why would she use her own case to make a good example out of this, but what is even more befuddling to me, is that she thought that I have been forbidding my wife from having another baby… and I have all along been an evil husband. Which gives that pregnant colleague, I believe, the compulsion to gloat about her seemingly dominant position in her marriage.

Little does that lady know that the decision to have only 1 child is a mutual one between my wife and I, based on a few reasons known only to us. But this is not about my wife and I. It’s about that pregnant colleague. I wonder what kind of a fucked up person she is to do that kind of thing to her own husband. Does this really fucking give her the sense of conjugal empowerment? What the fuck. That has got to be the most retarded thing ever. I guess she’s planning to keep hiding her pregnancy from her husband by alluding that her ever growing belly is just a tub of lardy substance. (yeah, she’s also coincidentally fat, very hard to tell if she’s pregnant sometimes).

Things that people would do to feel important. The husband should have secretly asked to have her spayed back when she had the second child, knowing that she’s such a vile person. And now that poor husband is in for an oncoming freight train.

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November 3, 2009

Vehicle End-of-Life Policy (ELV)

The Malaysian Ministry of International Trade and Industry (MITI) posted this in their blog yesterday…

Vehicle End-of-Life Policy (ELV) and the Phasing-out of Imported Used Parts and Components
The Ministry of International Trade and Industry (MITI) would like to refer to the issues raised by the public on the mandatory annual inspection as a requirement for road tax renewal for all vehicles aged 15 years or above and the gradual phase-out of imported used parts and components under the National Automotive Policy (NAP) Review announced on 28 October 2009.

2. On the mandatory annual inspection, the Government, through the Ministry of Transport (MOT), will formulate a roadmap for the implementation of Vehicle End-of-Life Policy (ELV) by taking into consideration the views of all parties through consultations with consumer associations and Non-Government Organisations (NGOs).

3. MITI’s Secretary General, Tan Sri Abdul Rahman Mamat reiterated that “the effective date for the implementation of the mandatory annual inspection is not on 1 January 2010 as reported in some media. The Government will announce the effective date of the mandatory annual inspection once the roadmap for the implementation of ELV is completed”. He added that “the main objective for the introduction of the mandatory annual inspection is to ensure that vehicles are safe and road-worthy”.

4. The implementation of the mandatory inspection is not meant to phase-out old vehicles that are more than 15 years. The vehicles are allowed to be on the road should they passed the inspection and road-worthy tests. Even now, the mandatory inspection is being implemented for the transfer of ownership of personal vehicles and road tax renewals for commercial vehicles.

5. At present, there are 2.7 million or 14.5 per cent passenger vehicles aged more than 10 years on the road. Compared with countries such as Australia, United States, Korea, Indonesia, Thailand and India, Malaysia has a very low vehicle scrap rate and relatively high average vehicle age.

6. The gradual phase-out of imported used parts and components will be effective in June 2011. This measure is only applicable for imported used parts and components. It is in line with the long term objective of the Government to prohibit the importation of used automotive products which are sub-standard and unsafe.

–Media Statement by MITI, released on 30th October 2009

I could see that there was no comment in the blog entry when I was reading it, so I felt compelled to put some of my thoughts in there. Here’s what I wrote (it was being moderated at the time of posting of this entry):

In case some of you in the government still couldn’t figure this out, allow me to enlighten you guys – “Malaysia has a very low vehicle scrap rate and relatively high average vehicle age” because –
a) vehicles are very expensive here, in our country, for reasons the government knows best (proof: we have 9 year hire-purchase plans available here. Malaysia Boleh.).
b) our public transport system is not well established. The government can’t even make those samseng taxi drivers to pakai meter (go to Johor or Penang, you’ll be enlightened).
c) our average per capita income is waaaaaayyyy lower than most of the countries listed in the article above.


And if the government is so dead serious about the road-worthiness of our old cars, why don’t you guys provide free inspections solely for that purpose? I’m sure some plans can be worked out… since the government is encompassed of sooooo many talented and intelligent individuals….

If you guys have anything to say about this, you can do it there.

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