November 20, 2009

“2012” (2009)

I have not been to the cinema since the first “Transformers” movie. With some time to kill, I decided to catch ‘2012’ yesterday. Like ‘Transformers’, the only thing I really enjoyed inside the cinema yesterday, was the caramel glazed popcorn. Boy how I missed the popcorn.

I don’t know if this is just me but, the movie’s not really that good. It has tonnes of cool special effects, no shit… but that’s about it. I’m surprised this movie was not directed by Michael Bay. It sure hell looked like his work. Senseless effects with not much of a story. You know, the prophecy… the black president… the grim farewell speech… the humanity get-together to face the odds… Boring.

And of course, a fair share of preposterous plots. Here’s a couple of them I manage to randomly pick

– comical airplane maneuver
The hero’s airplane seems to be able to take off from cracked and uneven runways (twice in the movie)… in spite of the crazy ass tremors, volcanic eruptions, proximity of the pyroclastic flow, etc. Also, hero’s airplane could fly through volcanic ash, which is technically speaking, impossible. The plane’s engine will choke, and the ash is gonna sandblast the whole plane until it goes down.

– bionic body
The people inside the ark were soaked with tsunami sea water that washed through the snow at Himalayas, which must be at sub zero temperature. Instead of dying of hypothermia, the wet people of the party boat were as animated as excited alcohol laden teenagers in a pool party. The people in 2012 must have bionic abilities to withstand that kind of temperature.

And many more. The whole movie’s like that. It’s like watching road runner and the coyote show. Everything is so fucking coincident and everyone’s unbelievably lucky. I’d definitely enjoy the movie if I’m a 6 year old but alas, I’m not so… it’s a waste of my money. (ticket’s 10 bucks! fuck that’s expensive!) 4/10.

michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 

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