October 12, 2009

whore for charity

A while back, the big dogs at Company X got very gung-ho about whoring the company in the name of charity. It wasn’t long before somebody with half a brain came up with the idea of tracking the participation rate of every goddamned department, and affects us employees with comparatively punier pay grade indirectly. Now, we are all ‘required to volunteer’ ourselves for at least one of the charity events, or else, our career path will be severely interrupted (if not already).

That was when I bitched to my boss about it (the bitching was actually longer, this is the compressed version for easier blogging/reading).

Me: “This is total bullshit really. Is Company X so desperate nowadays that they’re so fucking all out to get everything they can out of free publicity in the name of charity by bilking us employees off? Hell, if I wanted to do charity, I ain’t doing it in the name of Company X!”

Yes, my boss is kinda cool. He lets me cuss in front of him.

Boss: “The least you can do, is participate in that charity run. Just run your hearts out.”

He was right, the charity run. The simplest amongst the sea of retarded events, just pay up 30 bucks for an overpriced odd looking T-shirt and run around the industrial area looking stupid while whiffing in a large dosage of toxic air. But still, way too inconvenient for me. I’m not the ‘running’ kind of guy you see…

Me: “Well, can I just pay and not run?”

Boss: “They’d be taking attendance.”

Me: “What’s the fucking point? They still get my money right? In fact, they’d save on the stupid T-shirt and a person less to worry about. Come to think of it, why don’t they just fold the whole running event and just collect money instead… Much more practical…”

Then my boss decided to get Kwai Chang Caine with me…

Boss: “Charity isn’t all about money, you see. It’s about getting involved. Making you guys run is about getting all of you involved, in charity.”

I was thinking, if it’s all about getting involved, why don’t we just all forget about paying and just run instead? I bet the poor disabled people will be impressed with our effort and be happy for the rest of their lives. Or we can just adopt a couple of lizards off the ceiling of our own homes and show some love for the lesser lives. That’s charity with effort. Why do we have to collect money and run? I so wanted to tell my boss that that’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard. But then, I got reminded about the rules I made about not biting the hand that feeds you so, I let that one go.

Working in Company X is getting more and more ridiculous goddamn it.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 

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