October 7, 2009

blank talk

Dinner with my wife Emily. I was having some Ipoh salt-marinated chicken and got reminded of the movie ‘Mongol’ when I ripped out a wishbone. In the movie, the hero (Temujin, also known as Genghis Khan when he became a conqueror) gave a wishbone (of an exotic bird) to his girlfriend as a gift. It was a somewhat romantic thing to do, so naturally, I offered it to Emily…

Me: “Dear, this is called a wishbone. I saw in a movie the other day, that it brings good fortune. You can wear it like a locket if you want…” [waving the chicken wishbone at her]

Emily: “So where is this on the chicken?”

Me: “I’m not too sure, I think it should be around the collar. That’s where I ripped this thing off the chicken. But I don’t think humans have wishbones though. We have collarbones in place of a wishbone…”

Emily: “Speaking of collarbones, I’ve heard from around that men find women with protruding collarbones attractive. Like this…” [shows me her collarbones]

Me: “I think that’s a total bullshit. There are only 2 things that men will find attractive in a woman – tits and ass.”

Emily: [rolls eyes]

Me: “No wait, legs also. A woman with killer legs goes a long way. And yeah, shaved armpits of course.”

(There are actually many things of course, but protruding collarbones are definitely not the popular ones.)

Emily: “Women in China believe that armpit hair brings fortune…”

Me: “That’s bullshit too. If armpit hair could bring fortune, then monkeys in China would have been filthy rich there…”

It was an enjoyable dinner with my beloved wife.

This post is dedicated to those girls who like to camwhore in front of their stupid webcam and act like they’re cute Pukimon character. Also, a personal message to them – “fuck you and your repulsive pictures”.

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 

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