but-ter-face [buht-er-feys]
Chick with a hell of a nice body, but the face is ugly.
“She looked real good… but her face (butterface)”
[source]
That was what I saw at a Japanese restaurant the other day. I was with my wife and daughter for lunch and saw a young girl that resembled a fucking catfish, but with a knockout body wearing a very revealing top (seriously, the neckline of her top was so low, that if I were to throw a rock at her blindfolded, I could hit her sternum). The girl was sitting a couple tables away, but my sitting position was strategic enough to be able to see her very clearly.
The most standout thing about her was her pair of delectable tits. Fair, plump and half exposed, it took very little processing energy for a gawker to imagine how the rest of her chest looks like. I wasn’t able to concentrate very well on my food, needless to say. There was a time when the girl choked on some wasabi and coughed, sending massive ripples on her tits, and actually made them bounce. Almost made my eyes teary (wait, that could be my own wasabi effect…).
I was secretly hoping that one of her tits would bounce out and made my day, but I think she caught me gawking, and became very animated when she talked to her friend (she was with a friend). She would speak with such eloquence, you know, flailing her arms, pointing up and down like she was giving a political speech, and her huge bouncy motherfucking tits would resonate along. If there was an earthquake happening, I’d probably be impervious to it because watching her tits bouncing would cancel the vibration out. No shit.
That was when my wife Emily caught me looking over the table and said,
Emily: “Busy ogling at titties? Don’t know how to eat already?”
I snapped back into reality and quickly came up with an excusable excuse,
Me: “Yeah, did you see how that girl dresses? Man, her tits are so massive and exposed. I’m so worried that Regine would comment something about her rack…” [concerned expression]
I was referring to the time when Regine said “I can see your boobies!” when she saw my cousin wearing something revealing.
Emily: “Yeah, that’s what I fear too.”
Close call indeed. I cut down the ogling after that. There’s only so much silly excuses one could make. But on and off, I still checked the tits out (not her please)… but they didn’t bounce out or anything. You can imagine my disappointment. She left the premise a while after that, and only then, I could eat my lunch with a clear mind.