September 24, 2009

living with old people

A friend recently welcomed a newborn baby girl into his family. Naturally, the thing that we always like to ask is – who is going to take care of the baby? The friend told me, his mother is going to move in to live with him to help take care of the baby.

Then I went, “Oh.” There was a muffled “Shit” from me after that. Then I blessed my friend with the most sincere silent prayer, and wished him all the best. He’s going to need it.

Living in with parents, as I have learned and observed over the years, is not really a clever thing to do. Why? Because no matter how great you think your mom is, she’s not going to get along with you in the same house. The truth is, people from 2 different generations can NEVER get along in the same house. Different house – fine. Just not the same house. (NOTE: I’m not asking everyone to abandon their parents. Just don’t live with them.)

Take my case, for example. I moved in with my mom a few years ago to save on the rents. Then after I have bought my own place, I invited her to live with me. Big fucking mistake (I was an idiot and I should have known that).

The problem began when she turned my house into an orgy of fengshui paraphernalias (blogged about this before, search for ‘fengshui’). Then she started with all these weird attention seeking behaviors
– hogging the goddamn kitchen/toilet every morning my wife and I need to use them (she could have used it when we’ve gone to work, you see… and she NEVER wakes that early during the weekend when we’re not working…)
– sighing around the house doing simple chores (we asked her to leave the chores but she would insist)
– imposing all these taboo shits (eg. restricting us from celebrating my daughter’s birthday, but she herself would do the celebration)
– contradictory, conflicting statements
– unwanted attention from relatives from her gossip mongering…
– etc. (can’t recall all of them)

The conclusion is – it’s never fun living with old people. They give you the kind of stress that makes you want to explode (because you can’t do jack shit about it – the belligerent party here is your fucking mother/father). I’ve heard many people who live with their parents said the same damn thing. They’re like a personal dark stormy cloud that we always see in cartoons that hovers over your head whenever you reach home everyday. You can never be independent, feel free and always void of the happy sunshine.

Now that I think of it, had my mom and I lived separately from each other, our relationship could have been way better than how it is now. It’s a strange thing but, very true.

(I understand that some of you may vehemently disagree with my view about this, and of course, not all old people are assholes. Maybe your mom/dad is a saint and probably is an exception. But the odds are, sadly and needless to say, very low. Like what Dirty Harry likes to ask – “Do you feel lucky punk?”. Ask yourself that before you give her the keys.)

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

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