September 16, 2009

technical knockout

I accidentally spilled a few drops of milk on the bed. My wife Emily jokingly reprimanded me in front of my 3 year old daughter Regine – that if the stain were to attract ants to the bed, she would make me sleep on the stain with the ants. This got Regine pretty animated and asked my wife to let me sleep on the stain right away (without waiting for the ants to come).

I decided to pull her legs

Me : “I’d love to sleep on the bed by myself… it makes my back feel better…”

I’ve been having a bad back lately

Regine : “Are you sure?”

Me : “Oh, yes. Definitely.”

Regine : “You like dirty things?”

She was referring to the milk stain. She must have found it strange that I liked the idea of sleeping on the stain.

Me : “What? No. I said I like to sleep on the bed by myself.”

With a look of utter disgust, my daughter then said this to me…

Regine : “You are a naughty man.”

I think she wanted to use the adjective ‘gross’ or ‘disgusting’, but she conveniently substituted it as ‘naughty’ instead. And before I could come up with a retort, she added in another adjective to illustrate her contempt of me further…

Regine : “You are a naughty, fat, man.”

That was like, another kick in the crotch after getting a finishing blow. Emily was laughing like a jackass when I was reeling in from the shock. The things a kid could say nowadays… sheesh.

In case you couldn’t tell the language of a child, the word ‘fat’ in their dictionary means, something as bad as being a total douche bag. It is by no means an allusion that the person the child is referring to – is physically doughy or has an out-of-scale BMI. Or fat. No I’m not. (she must have mistaken the six packs as ‘fat’. Or my massive pecs). Leave me alone.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.