September 14, 2009


My buddies and I were having a few drinks inside a pub. A waitress took notice of us and plodded over to ask one of my friends, Henry, if he would mind a ‘pretty girl’ joining him for a drink. Henry got real confused, and conveniently flagged her away towards another friend of mine – Ricky.

So this waitress went over towards Ricky and asked the same thing – if he would like a ‘pretty girl’ to join him for a drink (she probably didn’t think of asking me because I am not handsome enough). I don’t know how Ricky responded, but I guess it must be something positive because I could see the waitress caper happily away after speaking to him. That was when I asked Ricky what’s going on and found out about the whole thing. Then the 3 of us looked on, to check out the ‘pretty girl’ who wanted to join us for a drink.

It was like a slow motion scene, watching the waitress bring the ‘pretty girl’ the ‘good news’ (thanks to Ricky). The waitress then reached a table not far from ours, and began to whisper to the ear of a girl – whom we were positive was the ‘pretty girl’ the waitress wanted us to meet badly enough. So, was the girl really pretty? Well, if you’re a cross between a walrus and a blue whale – then yes, you might find her a somewhat considerable company. But because we were just humans, we couldn’t help but be petrified at the sight of that tragic creature.

Ricky was traumatized. Henry started to cuss like he has Tourette’s syndrome. And I turned to God and prayed hard for her not to come over because I would have clubbed her with a bar stool out of reflex (kidding, I probably would abandon the pub to avoid trauma). The bipedal walrus-whale hybrid was skeptically puffing her cigarette like a total skank (blowing smoke upwards) when the waitress excitedly relayed the message to her. But thank god, the ‘pretty girl’ didn’t choose to come over. She must be savvy enough to have read our body language and understood that the kind of affection we potentially had for her, were of compassion towards an endangered animal, nothing more. *phew*

michaelooi  | rompings  | 

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