I wanted to change the ownership of my existing Astro account from my cousin’s name to mine (the Astro account is in his name), so I called Astro to inquire what needs to be done. The attendant instructed me to fax in 2 specific forms. That was what I did this morning, fax in the forms.

Come this afternoon, my mom called me frantically and told me that our Astro service had been deactivated. So, I called Astro to check what was going on. The attendant told me that my account was deactivated to facilitate the requested ownership change process. Despite the fact that it was rather ridiculous to DEACTIVATE my account for a simple ownership change, I did not lash at the guy. Instead, I did the next most logical thing – I calmly asked how long is it going to take for them to reactivate back my account.

Me: “How long is this going to take? I’ve got a sick old woman at home dying of boredom…”

Attendant: “Usually 24 hours. But you need to provide me your fax number for me to verify your forms if they’re complete”

So I provided the fax number. He put me on hold for about a minute, and then came back with this…

Attendant: “I’m sorry sir, I checked the number you gave against our system but couldn’t find it. The fax must have failed to get through…”

Alright, take a short pause here to think… why was my account deactivated in the first place? Because I sent in a fax to request for an ownership change. That means, it couldn’t have been possible for them to disconnect my account if they had not gotten my fax, right?

Me: “This is impossible. You deactivated my account for an ownership change request, remember? How could you have done that if Astro did not receive my fax in the first place?”

He paused and then stuttered a reply,

Attendant: “Ermmm err, I checked the fax tray and your forms weren’t there…”

Me: “Of course they weren’t there. Someone must have retrieved the forms and processed my request – that’s why my account was deactivated! If it’s on the tray, I wouldn’t be calling you now. You should check with whoever that is handling the request! Not the tray!” [duh]

This is like calling up someone to tell him that you do not know his phone number.

Anyway, the guy eventually had to ask me to fax in another set of forms, on the condition that he’d reactivate my account right away without affecting my ownership change request. Another question beckons, if they could process the ownership change right away, why deactivate my account in the first place? Goddamn makahai.

My daughter Regine caught a rather bad cough so the doctor prescribed medication through the nebulizer for her. I do not know what the drug is called, all I know is – that shit is expensive. And because the nebulizer would churn out the med into gas in a constant manner, most of it (about 40 – 50%) would evaporate into the air.

That was why when Regine was trying to talk too much during the inhaling session, I sternly told her to “Stop talking and whiff the gas”. The reason is simple – the more she talk, the less gas she inhale, and more gas gets wasted. May not be significant, but at least it spares me from the psychological misery having the impression that I’m paying a lot for something to let off into the thin air.

But one of the shapeshifter nurses heard me (asking Regine not to talk), and came into the booth we’re in wearing this smarmy pedophiliac fake smile, and told Regine “No it’s ok. You can talk.” then turned to me and said “In fact, we encouraged some children to sing.”

Big mistake. First of all, it was rude of that nurse to interrupt my private family conversation. Secondly, I was offended with the fact that she was trying to overwrite my authority as a parent by speaking directly to my child. Thirdly, she’s being a motherfucking retard to ask my child to talk during an inhaling session (why couldn’t she just mind her own goddamn business??). That was why I decided to lash out at that nurse,

“How the hell is she going to inhale the gas if she’s talking??”

“Yes, one can definitely inhale while talking.”

Well, that’s something new – I thought. Maybe she has that special ability that no one else has.

“Ok, can you show me how do you do that (inhale and talk at the same time)?”

She didn’t/couldn’t show me. But she heard me, and came up with this lame ass reply,

“Oh we can definitely do that. We actually do it automatically.”

Automatically. Yeah right. Like an automobile gearbox? Or was she inferring that she could breath through her corrugated folds of wrinkled skin like a fucking frog? Nobody knows. I didn’t bother to further continue the conversation and waved her off – because I knew it would be a complete waste of my time.

It just pisses me off when someone stupid tries to act smart.