Archive for June, 2009

June 14, 2009

Malaysian politicians are morons

From TheStar today…

Remarks spark reaction
GEORGE TOWN: Comments by Singapore’s Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew that Penang’s infrastructure is found wanting have led to the Chief Minister and his predecessor pointing fingers at each other.

“Lee mentioned that our infrastructure is inferior compared to Ipoh and Seremban.

“Perhaps this is a reflection of the ‘graceful decline’ that Penang has undergone over the last 18 years,” said Lim Guan Eng, who is also DAP secretary-general.

He said the state was willing to work with the federal government to carry out “necessary remedial measures” on Penang, especially in the areas of communications and transport.

Gerakan president Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon, who is the former Chief Minister, hit back claiming that Lee had focused on the condition of the state’s roads in his statement about inadequate infrastructure.

“Most of the roads in Penang are under the state (government) or the municipal council. It has been more than a year that Pakatan Rakyat has been administering them,” said Dr Koh.

Lee, whose last official visit to Penang was in 1989, met both leaders privately yesterday – Lim at about 12.20pm at his office in Komtar and Dr Koh at about 3pm at the E&O hotel where the Singapore entourage was staying.

Lim and Dr Koh said that Lee had inquired about the political change and situation in Penang.

Lee, who will conclude his visit tomorrow, declined to talk to reporters.

I wonder if they have all been a vegetable (our federal and state government) all these while. Don’t they have eyes to see for themselves?? Or perhaps is this an indication that they have been too ignorant??


Wake the fuck up PKR Pakatan Rakyat!! What have you done in Penang other than to point fingers?? So we know those bunch of BN cro magnons are corrupted and immoral! No shit sherlock! We already knew that! Now what makes you so different from them? Or rather, what would you do to prove that you’re different from them?? I’d say, no less of an embarrassment from the BN retards to date.

Buckle up fuckers! You have only five years to do it, and your time is fast running out! It’s time to do something already! I don’t give a shit what the BN idiots did before you, I’m not interested! That’s the past. You can’t fix the past. You fix the future goddamn it! Now shut the fuck up and go the fuck back to work! And do it hard! (Yes people, Penang government sucks. The previous and the current.)

michaelooi  | snippets  | 18 Comments
June 9, 2009

new definition of ‘useless’

This is something about our Polis Diraja Malaysia that I would like to share with all of you here…

A few months back, an uncle of mine was critically injured in a snatch theft incident. (head injury, still recuperating now.)

Because he was temporarily rendered immobile from that incident, my cousins (his daughters) from KL had to return to Penang to help out (They also hired a house nurse to take care of my uncle).

Then in an unfortunate twist of ill fate, one of my cousins (the author of the email in the link above) became a snatch theft victim herself. This happened about a month after her father’s accident. Two guys on a motorcycle appeared out of nowhere and snatched her baby bag while she was strapping her infant daughter into her car seat. She wasn’t hurt however, and didn’t lose anything valuable except a baby bottle and some food stuff, but she went ahead to lodge a report at a police station anyway.

Now, anyone would have thought that a law enforcement officer would at least show a wee tad of concern over a reported snatch theft incident out of sheer professionalism, if not haul his ass to do something about it. But to my cousin’s consternation, she was reproached by the attending police officer instead – why did she even bother to lodge a report, since she didn’t lose her cash or anything valuable? She was then given a crappy treatment, as if she was there to deliberately waste the officer’s precious time scratching his balls or whatever that he deemed as more important.

That was not all. About a couple weeks after the baby bag heist, the home nurse (mentioned above) almost joined the snatch theft victim club. Mustering the knowledge and experience of being both a tough nurse and a nasty housewife, she screamed like she has just seen a giant rat, and managed to drive off the thugs before they could even snatch anything (or something like that). Like my cousin, she felt that it was proper for her to lodge a police report on that and like what my cousin experienced, she was also given the same cold shoulder. I guess when the police says that they’re consistent and shit, they really meant what they say. The attending police officer did not even bother to take her statement since ‘nothing was lost’.

So there you have it people. Polis Diraja Malaysia. Malaysian law enforcement. You no lose money, you no come to polis. Bunch of delinquent farts. I guess they’re only interested in conducting road blocks and hanging out under a shade somewhere. And oh, homosexuals too. No shit, if you were to report a certain political figure corn holing some carbon based life form, they’d dispatch a couple army trucks and a few teams of Unit Tindakan Khas clad with bullet proof vests and balaclavas, and have the perpetrator arrested promptly to uphold the justice. They don’t have enough time to look at no petty snatch theft cases. (and we keep wondering why people are resorting to mob justice…)

It’s even more sad to know that we’re using our tax money to feed these morons to do this kind of frivolous law enforcement, and nobody is reviewing their performance. Man, I could have paid much less to rear a bunch of canines and they’d do a better job making me feel more secure. If refund is possible, I’d definitely want my money back.

*I’m sharing this so that you people get to learn about stuff you don’t read in the mainstream media. If any of you have encountered any shitty experience with our law enforcement officers, or have written your experience in your blog, please share it in the commenting system. Let the people know.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 27 Comments
June 7, 2009

Regine turns 3

Not long ago, my little girl ranted to me how she disliked a kindergarten mate of her’s,

Regine : “Daddy, I don’t like Elton.”

Me : “Why?”

Regine : “Because he is a monster.”

Me : “Why is he a monster?”

Regine : “Because I don’t like him.”

Me : *feet in the air*


Emily taught Regine why she shouldn’t use the word ‘stupid’ to describe a person…

Emily : “Regine, you shouldn’t use the word ‘stupid’, ok?”

Regine : “…”

Emily : “‘Stupid’ is a very mean word.”

Regine : “Grandma is a very mean word.”

Emily : *feet in the air*


She officially turns 3 today. I couldn’t be more glad to have her around. Here are some pictures of her performing hands-free-slide maneuver…

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 9 Comments
June 4, 2009

what’s that?

There is this senior engineer from our contractor company whom I loath. Let’s call him FatAss. FatAss knocked on my lab door yesterday. With him, was a rookie engineer under his care. I opened the lab door for them.

Me : “Yes FatAss, what do you want?”

FatAss : “Hi Michael. I was wondering if you can lend me your camera.”

He was pointing at our lab microscope when he was saying that. Confused, I clarified with him,

Me : “Excuse me? You said you wanted to borrow the camera?”

FatAss : “That’s right, the camera.” [points at microscope]

Imagine you instructing your maid to bring you a chair, and she brings you her personal butt plug instead. Yes, this is as bad as that. What more coming from a senior engineer.

Me : “That’s not a camera, FatAss.”

FatAss : “I’m sorry, my mistake. I didn’t mean the camera. I meant the magnifying glass.” [points at microscope again]

Me : “A magnifying glass?? WTF! That’s not a magnifying glass either!”

FatAss : [looking confused]

Me : “You mean, you don’t fucking know what that thing is called??”

FatAss : “A magnifying glass right?”

Ladies and gentlemen, a senior engineer, who wants to show a rookie how to use a microscope, but doesn’t know what a microscope is called.

Me : “You’re hopeless, FatAss. That is NOT a magnifying glass. That’s a microscope you stupid fuck.”

FatAss : [blushes] “Oh… thanks for the enlightenment”.

I hope he can differentiate between a ground squirrel and his own mother.

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 10 Comments
June 2, 2009


My site recently registered an extra 20% daily visits – thanks to a recent link up to my Rob the Twat post from a Motorola alumni forum (or something like that).

The thread in the forum originally started as a simple post asking if the giant twat picture reminded them of anyone in their management, to which one of the guys replied that it reminded him a lot of his abominable ex-lady boss and lamented something not very nice about her. Then the thread gradually grew into some amusing banter, and one of them stood out with the following comment (check out the bolded sentence) :

[name]TheWeiner. LOL

What a perfect name for a Motorola manager. I can’t remember the last time I met one who wasn’t a dick-head. Hey [name]TheWeiner, you get back to work butt snorkelling BrownEye. Let us know if you find any great ideas up Greg’s ass.

How true. And to top that off – shitty products, lame ass company name, snooty motherfuckers. Hell, you should also check out the Malaysian Motorola uniform. Batik shirt. It’s like they’re desperately trying to remind themselves to be a douche bag everyday at work. And I don’t even want to begin with that Six Sigma crap… If those aren’t convincing enough, let me tell you of an encounter I once had at Motorola some years ago –

I was visiting a Motorola plant with my team members for a very important meeting. Because I had an even more important thing to do before the meeting, I told my team members to go ahead first, and I’d catch up with them later (I knew I was gonna be 10 mins late tops).

When I reached there after completing my stuff, I was required to register myself at the guard house before calling for my Motorola host. At the guardhouse, the security guard in charge wanted me to leave my cellphone with him… an argument ensued.

“Why do I have to leave my cellphone here?”
“It’s our company policy sir. Visitors are not allowed to bring cellphones into the premise.”
“And the reason for that?”
“For security measure sir. Motorola is a cellphone manufacturing company.”
“But mine’s a Nokia cellphone! Not a Motorola!” [hell, I wouldn’t want a stupid Motorola cellphone anyway, most of them look like parking meters]
“I’m sorry sir, you must leave your phone here if you want to enter our premise.”

So I had no choice but to comply. After I left my phone there, I got the same guard to contact my host (I had to be brought into the meeting room, as I was not allowed to roam freely in the building) – to which, he did not answer (not surprising at all, because the guy’s in the middle of a meeting). I then had to resort to call my team members in the same meeting, but then I couldn’t – they didn’t have their cellphones with them! Their phones were at the fucking guardhouse, remember? So basically, it was a catch 22 situation for me. I wanted to call someone from the meeting to bring me in there, but I couldn’t do it because their cellphones were on a rack few feet away from where I was standing. And the fucking static ass guard would just shrug me off because he wasn’t paid to worry about anything else other than to register visitors and keep them frustrated.

But I was lucky that day because one of my team members eventually figured out that I was missing, and came to check for me at the guardhouse. I was that close to leaving the fucked up place.

That was just one of the encounters. I have had many encounters before, and all of them making me arriving to the same conclusion couldn’t have been mere coincidences. It’s because their management comprises of a bunch of dick heads. That’s why they never got big in the consumer business. It takes a dick head to appreciate what another dick head does – if you get my drift.

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 11 Comments