I was staggering to the restroom outside a pub the other day, and I saw this hot lass wearing this Liverpool red body hugging tube dress. She had an innocent cute look with long straight hair, impeccable fair skin and a pair of bouncy jugs to boot with. Very well endowed girl. But the good feel effect lasted for only 2 seconds, for I soon noticed something was wrong with her.

What was it?

It was her ass, my friends. Scanning a little bit south, I spotted her misshapen ass – thanks to a pair of push-up panties she had on. Because the push-up panties was very much smaller than her ass, it kind of oozed some of her body fats up to the waistline, creating this muffin top effect. And her thighs? They looked like 2 sticks of giant lotus roots. The first thought that came to my mind right then was – “goddamn grandmother panties!” – but of course, I later realized that it was a pair of push-up panties. I swear that it was revolting enough that I could have puked right there, but I was good at gagging myself so I didn’t. (considering the fact that I was moderately intoxicated at that time, this could be more worse than what I described here)

I admit that when it comes to fashion, I probably should be the last person in town to give a shit ass opinion. I wear fake Polos and most of my pants are tattered for fuck’s sake! But this is pure common sense – that when you plan to wear something hot and body hugging tight to show off your chiseled body, you should wear a thong or nothing at all underneath. The contour of your ass is something you bring through the finish line. It’s the difference between pass and fail.