Got this from CL’s site…
Damn…. I almost died laughing *wipes tears*
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Man, I hate it when my friends post pictures of them going to a vacation in Facebook. Them and their best impression of having a really good time. Never fails to make me feel crappy about my mundane life.
I sometimes forget things that I wanted to remember 5 minutes ago, and sometimes, I get hit by emotional pangs like a fucking schoolgirl. I don’t know why.
I erroneously submitted a permission to resign the other day. My boss panicked and sent me a memo to call for an urgent discussion. I frantically called him up that it was a mistake but the damage was done.
My 3 year old daughter has been using my tummy as her play space lately when I’m reading. She’d lie down on it, and sometimes make her toy animals roam around it like they’re romping in a savannah. Signs of my bed getting smaller and my size getting bigger.
The relationship with my current job is best described as ‘estranged couple’. We look happy together but we have no more chemistry in between.
A colleague asked why my RJ45 cable on my IP phone looked so much longer than his. I quoted – the same reason why a dick looks longer with shorter pubes and conveniently asked him to clean his desk to see the same effect.
I was staggering to the restroom outside a pub the other day, and I saw this hot lass wearing this Liverpool red body hugging tube dress. She had an innocent cute look with long straight hair, impeccable fair skin and a pair of bouncy jugs to boot with. Very well endowed girl. But the good feel effect lasted for only 2 seconds, for I soon noticed something was wrong with her.
What was it?
It was her ass, my friends. Scanning a little bit south, I spotted her misshapen ass – thanks to a pair of push-up panties she had on. Because the push-up panties was very much smaller than her ass, it kind of oozed some of her body fats up to the waistline, creating this muffin top effect. And her thighs? They looked like 2 sticks of giant lotus roots. The first thought that came to my mind right then was – “goddamn grandmother panties!” – but of course, I later realized that it was a pair of push-up panties. I swear that it was revolting enough that I could have puked right there, but I was good at gagging myself so I didn’t. (considering the fact that I was moderately intoxicated at that time, this could be more worse than what I described here)
I admit that when it comes to fashion, I probably should be the last person in town to give a shit ass opinion. I wear fake Polos and most of my pants are tattered for fuck’s sake! But this is pure common sense – that when you plan to wear something hot and body hugging tight to show off your chiseled body, you should wear a thong or nothing at all underneath. The contour of your ass is something you bring through the finish line. It’s the difference between pass and fail.
My 3 year old daughter did a couple of paintings with water color paint the other day… and gave each of them a title (I’m not making this up). Now, how many of you people are self indulgent enough to give your own painting a title? *shakes head*
Here they are… in case you’re interested to buy them or something… (I hope these would fetch me millions someday…)
It is said that the wisdom teeth exist for 2 reasons.
1) as a retribution for all the sins you have committed in your life.
2) to pave a career path for dentists
It was a payback time for me yesterday – I went to have one of my wisdom teeth removed.
Before that trip to the dentist, I went around to ask if anyone have had their wisdom tooth removed before. You know, just to prepare for the worst. None of my friends had it, but one of them alleged that he knew someone who had. It’s very painful and a total nightmare – he said. The mouth’s going to swell up so bad, that I won’t be able to eat for two weeks!
“Omg, 2 weeks! Doesn’t that mean I’m gonna die? 2 weeks without food?”
Somehow, he didn’t give a thought about that and replied “I don’t know, that was what my friend told me…”
Anyway, I finally did it yesterday. So, did it hurt? Oh yeah. It was badass. But not as much as I thought it was going to be. That’s because I’m reasonably tough enough, and partly also because I was quite busy thinking if the dentist was the same Korean amateur porn model I saw on the internet many years ago (distraction mitigates pain).
The whole procedure took about an hour to complete. The dentist had to break up the wisdom tooth into several pieces and extract them in small fragments, because the thing was huge… and it was also growing ‘out horizontally’ instead of ‘up vertically’ from my jaw. I guess if it weren’t for the teeth blocking its path, the damn thing would have grown long enough to pierce through my lips like a fucking warthog. I later found out from the internet that this is a very rare condition called ‘Horizontal impaction‘, and it only occurs to about 3% of the people, those who are exceptionally bright and intelligent – I guess this is another bane that we smart people have to live with, besides being frustrated all the time *shrugs*.
But the worst did not happen on the electric chair though. It was when the anesthetic wore off. It was like someone had jammed a screwdriver into your gum. It swelled up quite bad on the first few hours post op, but gradually improved after sucking some ice cubes. Right now, it just feels like a bad case of mouth ulcer (that I have paid RM450 for…). Have to live on a soft diet for a couple more days.
Didn’t feel any less smarter though, probably because I have plenty of intelligence to spare…