April 6, 2009

class monitor

I learnt from my wife recently, that a nephew of ours was elected as the class monitor in his class. Another niece, who studied in the same class was however, extremely disappointed to learn that she didn’t get the ‘post’. Being a typical 8 year old girl, she buried herself in tears for many hours, like how it would have been if someone were to impale her favorite teddy bear with a giant wooden stick and set the whole thing on fire.

I was so tempted to ask her then, why she wanted the class monitor post so badly? What is so good about being a class monitor? In fact, it was quite a different thing for me (also, for most of my classmates as well, I believe) back during my schooling days. I was smart enough to realize that it was a very degrading job – you have to put on a tie like a dolt, you have to be the first in line and last to go, you have to be of exemplary quality (and therefore, void of all rights to romp like the rest of the gang), you’re responsible to lock/unlock the stupid classroom, you have to mark attendances daily and at all major events, be the teachers’ pet / cocksucker, list goes on. All for ZERO credit. You’re not going to get paid for all the shitty work, and the post does not yield you any valuable wisdom (marking attendance? Come on…).

If there’s an adult equivalent of being a class monitor, I’d say it’s close to being a homo prostitute in a prison. You get fucked in the ass by filthy criminals while you’re in a physical (and mental) confinement. All for the kick of it o_O. I guess that is why most class monitors look like queers and have a high degree of dorkish factor. The post needed that kind of character maa.

Anyway, I am glad that I was not the ideal candidate to be given such a post, but had a close call once. A classmate once prank-nominated me for the class monitor post, and I freaked the fuck out. I remember myself begging the school teacher drop my name off the nomination list, which she gladly obliged. Phew!

And kids nowadays are fighting to become one, sheesh. This world is becoming a sadder place to live…

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

18 Comments to “class monitor”

  1. sweewon says:

    For an 8 year-old kid, being a class monitor is something to be proud of lor… me also thought so (blushes)..

    But when we got into secondary school, we had the same class monitor for three whole years. Whenever the teacher asked us who’s gonna be the class monitor this year? We’d point to him and said “Him lor… we’re *very happy* with him.” Nobody wanted the job :P

  2. LX says:

    Well Mike, same as you … i never wanted to be class monitor. but being a perfect is something different.

    When I was in primary school, being a perfect is something we call status. hahaha. . so call only the “smart” ass get chosen to be perfect.

    Things change when I go to secondary school. I don’t want to be a perfect but got chosen instead. you know why .. if you are a perfect in secondary school, normally you will be living in no-man island. Most of your peers will boycott you and there you are .. fucking lonely.

  3. Most girls fight for this “job”, I noticed. My 7-yr old son don’t even know what it is! But this sucking-up learning ground will be beneficial for them in the real world actually. I’m sure we’ve all come across some blue-eyed who elbowed their way ahead of us just becoz they are good at kissing ass!!!!

  4. cLiu says:

    poor girl…

    but during my time, nobody want to be class monitor because everyone knows that become class monitor means you have to stab your friend from their back cuz you have to report to teacher that your friend is not submit’g homework, making noise in the class. And everyone hates you!

    you may share this with your little nephew.

  5. Sammi says:

    true, but what do a 8 year old knows? he/she thought it’s like being promoted to a manager position in your company. Closer to “high authority” and can order other students around. They miss out the money part, if they are getting paid then it will be a different thing. but schools just treat them like free labor.

  6. michaelooi says:

    sweewon – Well, maybe I’m just too smart then. When I was 8, I hated being a class monitor as much as I was in the secondary school.

    LX – Dude, you meant ‘prefect’, right? Being a prefect and being perfect are two different things yo. A prefect to me, is an even bigger asshole than a class monitor (no offense dude)

    lil monster – If that’s the way you look at it, then what have I got to say other than – this could be a perfect plan for you! hehh

    cLiu – I don’t have to teach my nephew that, because he already knew it too well. He backstabbed my daughter last weekend. That little turd told my wife that Regine cussed ‘stupid’ behind someone’s back… and got her some unwanted attention.

    Sammi – Like I’ve said before, it’s stupid. It’s just the school authorities wanting to exploit our children to do their chores. I think I’ve blogged about that topic in length before… I think it was about class duties or something…

  7. ShaolinTiger says:

    Yah I never understood why anyone would want to be a prefect or class monitor or whatever. I always avoided all those shit like the plague. Overachieving scum.

  8. Actually I was “push off the cliff” by ass-kissers so many times, its too late for me d. But I’ve always wandered where they leart it from. Nvr thot of class monitor/prefect. Yulks!

  9. ah seng says:

    michael… remember back in form4 our class monitor got caned, i think it was due to arm wrestling competition we had in the class, or something like it

  10. michaelooi says:

    ST – My school used to have a post called ‘Kebersihan’ (which literally translates to ‘hygiene’, no shit dude). You know what were they for? Checking for hygiene problems and also responsible to keep the school compound clean! WTF

    lil monster – But what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. You can now spread the propaganda – class monitors suck

    ah seng – Ahh, how can I forget our beloved class monitor Kingston? The most corrupted soul evarrr. I thought that caning was for the gambling session? I forgot. That was many years ago.

  11. MT says:

    I was forced to be a class monitor once during primary school. Found out the only beneficial thing was access to all the others’ parent’s names. Back then, making fun of each others’ mom n dad’s name was funny.

    I was promptly sacked after some whiny shit told the headmaster that I was the source of information that lead to all the teasing… :)

  12. vincent says:

    It’s all about the power man.

    It’s the same reason people wanna be politicians.

  13. J says:

    i remember i wanted to become a prefect so badly because of the mini skirt but never get the chance of it, damn sad..

  14. Pookyma says:

    Haha..good post.I was a class monitor back then.Did all that shitty work until i got promoted as senior.That was the time when i broke a lot of rules in school without getting caught.

  15. bongkersz says:

    Your nephew is on the right track to replace Apanama in the next future :P

  16. xes says:

    I remember when my primary school class had a system where each student gets to be a class monitor for a day. When it came up to my turn, Dad was so excited and even helped me to put up my tie.

    The day started off well without any trouble but unfortunately, W, a classmate of mine, and some other students decided to stage a coup and started a mutiny. I was overthrown by lunch time. So much for class monitor!

    I’m still friend with W till this day though. wahahaha

  17. michaelooi says:

    MT – Yeah, insulting a fellow friend with his parents’ names can be fun! I once called a friend ‘Surinayi anak lelaki parapundek’… that was so fucking funny man.

    Vincent – An illusion of power perhaps… Being a class monitor is actually no different than being a slave…

    J – You can wear a miniskirt without having to be a class monitor, don’t you know that?

    Pookyma – Oh, a ‘promotion’. That’s another word of wanting you to do a wider scope of demeaning work… pfft

    bongkersz – Errr, isn’t that a good thing? Apanama has moolah, girls and power. That’s what everyone’s striving for, right?

    xes – Wow, you kena coup de’tat in just half a day? *applause*

  18. tyra says:

    Yes..even marking d test papers :(

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