Things that I do not get about girls…

Why:

1) …do girls like to speak softly to feign nicety?
I’m sure a lot of you have encountered this before. Some girl you meet at a function who speaks like a mosquito trying to buzz you a message from across a big room, and you have to repeatedly ask for pardon like an idiot. Man, why do them girls like to assume that speaking at a much reduced volume would paint an impression that they’re polite? The sad thing is, many of these girls don’t even speak like that to those they know well (retarded friends, parents, siblings). What’s wrong with being able to speak up with confidence, with a clear and crisp voice?

2) … do girls like to pout their lips in pictures?
You and I have seen it. Pouting lips is synonymous with the act of camwhoring nowadays. You see a series of camwhoring pictures, you’re bound to see someone pouting their lips. Some would even go to the extend of poking their cheeks with their index. I don’t know what is that suppose to do. Make them look cute? Fuck. If you’re cute, you’re cute. Pouting or poking your fucking cheeks won’t make an ugly person any cuter. I’ve seen scores of tragic looking specimen did that before, but the only effect they ever gave me was a massive cockblock, with zero degree of cuteness.

3) … do girls like to act cute when they talk?
Speaking of wanting to be cute, some girls would go a great length to make themselves look adorable. You know, hop like a bunny during a conversation, twirl their fringe with a finger, loll on inanimate objects, and probably even pout like they’re camwhoring… you know, stuff like that. They’re almost like, imagining themselves as some of those round little annoying Pikachu shits they saw on TV or something. It’s fucking annoying bordering revolting.

4) …do some girls like to catwalk to impress?
It’s an undeniable fact that girls learn the darndest things from TV and fashion magazines. One of he most disturbing things is catwalk. For some strange reasons, girls think that if one were to be able to catwalk, their attractiveness would get a bonus of +200% and guys would fall head over heels for her. Never mind how ugly that person is. I’ve seen many delusional blimp chicks doing catwalks in public before, and the only thing I always have in mind when I see one, is how fucking hard I would laugh if that fat fuck were to lose her footing and land hard on the cold hard floor.

5) …do girls like to fake their accent to sound sophisticated?
Of course, girls who always try to sound sophisticated by faking their accent. Especially English. “Oh my twatttt ishhh ssssho bhigggg”. Pffft. There are so many of them out there. I wonder who the fuck told them that having a fake accent is cool. Having a fake accent is never cool. They make you look cheap and desperate. Oh of course, they always swear on having their ovary ruptured that their accent’s all real (even though the person just visited Europe for a couple of weeks, and managed to ‘pick up’ the accent naturally), but really, any shithead could spot a fake accent.

6) …do girls like to lug along a handbag everywhere they go?
Stupid handbags. Notice that they’re always small and never practical? If you ever get the chance to rummage inside a handbag, you’d notice that there’s always nothing useful inside. A pack of tissue paper, a small purse and a small can of mace perhaps. 4 items at most. And all of them are stuff that can be easily fitted inside a pocket. Oh I forgot, most of girl-wears (annoyingly) do not have a frigging pocket. And when they have to go do something like dancing with their stupid friends or go to a loo, the unfortunate male counterpart would have to hold the handbag for her and look like a faggot. That’s why most guys hate ladies with fancy handbags.

By the way, I fucking lost my job.