February 15, 2009

old dirty bastard

Have you ever dreaded the day people start to despise you just because you’re old? I have.

The thought kind of surfaced after an outing with a bunch of friends one evening. We were at this pub drinking at happy hours, when I took notice of a group at a table next to ours. The group consisted of a bunch of yuppies in their office attires, mostly girls, and one very standout guy.

That guy, must be in his late 50’s, or even 60’s I reckon, and he had one of those stupid futuristic robot sunglasses awkwardly perched on top of his head full of spiky punkish white hair. Not only that, the old guy also wore a body hugging white T-shirt that embossed his wrinkled beef jerky-ish physique, coupled with a drain pipe washed out jeans. I wasn’t at all concerned about his seemingly disgusting taste of fashion, but I was a little bit disturbed with the fact that,

a) he was mingling with a bunch of people half his age,
b) he was doing that fucking revolting super gay Rick Astley dance,

I could see that his colleagues (or whatever their relationship with him were supposed to be) weren’t any less traumatized than I was.

“Psst dude, check out that old guy next table. What an old dirty bastard. What the fuck is he doing here goddamn it?” I whispered to my friend Charles and we both checked Old Dirty Bastard out as he started to grind his porous and creaky hips on some of his annoyed girl mates. Charles shared the hostile thought too – what the fuck was that old guy doing there? We couldn’t figure out then, but as the night progressed, his table started to look deserted when everyone discreetly left one after another, and soon all that was left was Old Dirty Bastard himself, and a long bill for the table. (the light was shed, that he was probably needed there to pay the fucking bill… or someone in that group could have made a wrong phone call and subsequently a big mistake.)

Kinda sucks isn’t it? Being old is no shit a major big disadvantage in the social hierarchy. I dread of the day I would turn into that Old Dirty Bastard… really. Though I probably wouldn’t dress as gross as that Old Dirty Bastard, but I know I would definitely grind some chicks given the chance…

Or maybe someone should make a pub for old people… (minimum age 55 or based on how long you can pull the skin under your arms)

michaelooi  | what I saw  | 

4 Comments to “old dirty bastard”

  1. ShaolinTiger says:

    Arm skin pulling, what a job that would be. Get the ruler out, let’s measure those bingo wings.

  2. J says:

    is he half bald?

  3. michaelooi says:

    ST – We can have a portable device that works just like a mammogram machine… you know, instead of flattening boobies, the thing can be used to measure the skin pull instead.

    J – Not exactly half bald, but a bit here and there.

  4. nicholas says:

    u just got rick rolled

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