Archive for January, 2009

January 5, 2009

chaos on the final days of work

It was the final 2 weeks of December, and all the managers were either on vacation, or on their scheduled ‘medical leave’. Our technician, Milkboy, was ranting about how stucked up his situation was, because he couldn’t find anyone to approve his forms…

Milkboy: “Fuck man, all the managers are out of office. Now how am I suppose to get these forms approved?? Sheesh”

Me: “Just get that XX department ‘Dickhead’ to approve your fucking forms. Don’t give yourself a bad excuse to shirk, you lazy bum.”

Milkboy: “This is so inconvenient.”

Me: “Well, you can propose to the management to give me the authorization to approve your forms. I reckon that would be convenient enough for you. But it wouldn’t be free though, for I’ll be charging 5 bucks per approval… the convenience comes at a price needless to say…”

Milkboy: “…” [dove into his pile of paperwork and STFU-ed]

Hell, 5 bucks per approval… that’s going to be convenient, for me. Come to think of it, this can be some idea to start a subcontract business for myself to the corporates. You know, everything is ‘subbed’ nowadays, why not a manager? For a much cheaper price of course. I’m going to sit in for managers to do their taxing paperwork (approvals, reviews, shits, you know… just mouse clicks anyway), while those assholes can go ahead to socialize with their ilks at golf courses to forge businesses, synergize or whatever… And of course, with the rising demand and orders pouring in, I can probably subcontract a second tier cheaper labor to cope with all the mounting work. Like, if I charge 2 bucks per approval for a form, I can subcontract to a Bangla to do it for 25% of the cost per job. In no time, I will be owning an empire of services that does all your asshole bosses’ seemingly brainless work, how about that? (yeah, you guys can then call me up for a drink if you need to get anything approved…)

And oh, I’ll name the subcontract company as ‘Perineum Inc.’ if that happens… (you know, perineum? an asshole’s best friend? Yeah. Classic.)

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 2 Comments