January 5, 2009

chaos on the final days of work

It was the final 2 weeks of December, and all the managers were either on vacation, or on their scheduled ‘medical leave’. Our technician, Milkboy, was ranting about how stucked up his situation was, because he couldn’t find anyone to approve his forms…

Milkboy: “Fuck man, all the managers are out of office. Now how am I suppose to get these forms approved?? Sheesh”

Me: “Just get that XX department ‘Dickhead’ to approve your fucking forms. Don’t give yourself a bad excuse to shirk, you lazy bum.”

Milkboy: “This is so inconvenient.”

Me: “Well, you can propose to the management to give me the authorization to approve your forms. I reckon that would be convenient enough for you. But it wouldn’t be free though, for I’ll be charging 5 bucks per approval… the convenience comes at a price needless to say…”

Milkboy: “…” [dove into his pile of paperwork and STFU-ed]

Hell, 5 bucks per approval… that’s going to be convenient, for me. Come to think of it, this can be some idea to start a subcontract business for myself to the corporates. You know, everything is ‘subbed’ nowadays, why not a manager? For a much cheaper price of course. I’m going to sit in for managers to do their taxing paperwork (approvals, reviews, shits, you know… just mouse clicks anyway), while those assholes can go ahead to socialize with their ilks at golf courses to forge businesses, synergize or whatever… And of course, with the rising demand and orders pouring in, I can probably subcontract a second tier cheaper labor to cope with all the mounting work. Like, if I charge 2 bucks per approval for a form, I can subcontract to a Bangla to do it for 25% of the cost per job. In no time, I will be owning an empire of services that does all your asshole bosses’ seemingly brainless work, how about that? (yeah, you guys can then call me up for a drink if you need to get anything approved…)

And oh, I’ll name the subcontract company as ‘Perineum Inc.’ if that happens… (you know, perineum? an asshole’s best friend? Yeah. Classic.)

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 

2 Comments to “chaos on the final days of work”

  1. KJ says:

    Being a manager is all about power, the work part comes later. When people are jumping up and down for you to sign their form, when people had to wait till end of the month for you to pay their salary and when people had to smile at you for a whole year to get a pathetic bonus at the year’s end… now that’s power, and them seems to enjoy it very much. who cares about the conveniences of some insignificant employees, they can wait.. and wait. or even jump.

    letting you sign the form is akin giving you power.. no.no!. no manager will give you that. you can do that paper work, review, and all other mundane task, but the signing part, they will still keep it to themselves.

  2. michaelooi says:

    Aah, kemosabe, how you got it wrong. It’s not really about the ‘signing’ process. ‘Signing’ is just the physical manifestation of the work, get what I mean? It’s the whole big ‘authorization’ word that gives them the substance. The big capital ‘A’. Authorization. Anyone can sign a paper, but they don’t hold if they do not have the authority. Now what I said was just to exploit the ‘signing’ part, the labor part. Go play golf or something. Do something useful. Leave the labor to us. Something like that.

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