October 6, 2008

do you have boobies?

A couple weeks ago, my 2.5 year old daughter saw my cousin’s cleavage and exclaimed “I can see your boobies!”. That of course drew some laughs amidst bewilderment from some of my relatives that night, as it was quite uncommon for kids her age to know such word. Thanks to her daddy and mommy. And in fact, she knows it a little too well.

Just last night, while I was putting her to sleep with Emily, my daughter rested her hand on my tummy and asked me this in a serious tone,

Regine: “Daddy, do you have boobies?”

She was looking at my chest of course. She must have spotted my muscular chest (alright, fat).

Me: “Of course not. Daddy is a boy. Boys don’t have boobies.”

I conveniently lied.

Regine: “Mommy have boobies?”

Me: “Yes, mommy is a girl, so she has boobies.”

Regine: “Regine have boobies?”

Me: “Not yet. Because you’re still a little girl. Little girls don’t have boobies.”

That was when Emily decided to help me out there.

Emily: “You’re still a little girl. No boobies yet.”

Regine: “Little girl aa?”

Emily: “Yes. You’ll only have boobies when you grow up.”

Regine: “Grow up aa? Boobies aa?”

Emily: “Yes. That’s right.”

But I sensed the skepticism there, and I had the hunch that she must be thinking, what a bunch of liars we are. Boobies to her are like, objects protruded out of someone’s chest. That means, if anyone were to stuff a couple boxes of Kleenex into their blouse, then that person will have a pair of boobies. Boobies are like, so cosmetic. Why can’t a boy/man have boobies then? What are those things on their chest then? The reality must have skewed her logic greatly and I can understand that.

The truth is, everyone has boobies. I have boobies, even bigger than some bulimic bitches at my office, that’s for sure. For me (as a guy) to not have a pair of boobies, I must be scrawny like a cadaver. And needless to say, there are also shitloads of girls without boobies as well. Some guys are also more well endowed than an average girl. Eg. Simon Cowell, or Russell Crowe in this recent pix of his here with his massive man-boobies (ironically, with a girly pony tail and a beard)…

Now, how do you explain these to a 2 year old? We can’t. We are trying to make her perceive that boobies are for babies to have their nutritional needs, but we’re struggling. Even if we manage to convince her, we know it won’t hold for long. She’s too smart to be deceived, and I dread of the day having to explain to her why some aunties have huge boobies but no babies… or why that uncle with a twin patch of sweat marks on his armpits have boobies bigger than mommy (haha, I was thinking of The Gimp)…

It’s tough to bring up a kid nowadays…

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 

5 Comments to “do you have boobies?”

  1. Russell says:

    Your daughter is really cute, haha. I hope to have a daughter too next time.

  2. blusher says:

    LOL! Three thumbs up for Regine again, for making her parents speechless. Haha!
    Hey, but seriously, you gotta explain the birds and the bees soon enough if she’s as inquisitive as you described her. Then, when this part is explained, you can bring in the diff. between male and female. Yin and yang….stuffs like that. Anyway, all I can say is – Good Luck dude! She’ll make you speechless once again, I’m sure ;-)

  3. michaelooi says:

    Russell – The trick is, to wiggle your junk when you’re about to unload. Requires a bit of dexterity but, it works.

    blusher – What birds and what bees? Couples copulate and the male knocks the female up. That’s how I plan to unravel the mystery…

  4. Malaya_tiger says:

    wow, your daughter is 2.5 years already? i still remember your post when regine is born. How time flies.

  5. Russell says:

    i bet if i do that i’ll have twins lol

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