My boss asked me this, this morning
Boss: “Michael, what do you think of using a special questionnaire to screen the new engineer for the new job?”
Me: “What do you mean? Like an interview or something?”
We were referring to an idea by the management to get a subcontractor engineer to help out some of our work (you can think of it like hiring somebody’s maid to wash your shitload of laundry). In this case, an interview would be redundant, since we’re not really hiring that guy. We’re just exploiting them at the advantage of being on the higher level the food chain here…
Boss: “Not really an interview, but sort of like a filtering mechanism to make sure that the guy who comes in is competent and suitable”
Me: “Oh you mean, to make sure that they’re not sending us an idiot for the job?”
Boss: “Something like that.”
Me: “Well, we can check his qualifications, if that helps… I’m not too sure if a questionnaire is appropriate… since that guy will not be on our payroll and we don’t have the say to throw him out if he’s an idiot…”
Boss: “I don’t think checking the qualification is sufficient… Just look at Mojo Jojo…”
If you remember him, Mojo Jojo was our parasitic colleague who left to seek for greener pastures (or a bigger host for him to siphon the resources off…). A dick short of a wanker, the epitome of stupidity and retardation. Thank God he left us before we were forced to the verge of committing suicide.
Me: “Touché. That guy has a degree in double E, and yet, he doesn’t know what a fuse is… goddamn…”
Boss: “So, what do you think?”
Me: “I’m ok with the idea.”
And I went on to suggest to get a couple more guys to help plan out the screening criteria – probably not in the form of a questionnaire but, something like a simple test. I was thinking of dumping in a few trigonometry questions, and something that actually tells me of his thinking power… like maybe show him various pictures of excrement from different species of animals, and ask him to identify what type of chocolates they are… etc.
Sad that we have to resort to this but that’s the reality. Any spaz has a qualification nowadays. Modern papers are not given out to the guy who has the right substance anymore, but to the guy who has enough money… if you know what I mean.