I was walking along the office corridor yesterday morning. A middle aged balding manager was walking from the opposite direction. After a couple feet past him, the guy said to me (from behind),

“Errrmmm excuse me, your fly’s open.”

I went like, oh, ok… and zipped it up (no big deal for me). But after a short distance away from him, a disturbing thought suddenly loomed over me and I started to feel very uneasy about the whole thing - how did he know if my fly’s open if he was not checking out my crotch? And why the fuck would he check my crotch out? I wouldn’t mind if a girl or a housewife does that. It probably wouldn’t have been so kooky. But a middle aged balding guy?

Goddamn.

Now that I think of it, I’ve never actually saw any guy with his barn door wide open before. The reason’s simply because I never check out crotches of the same sex. I’d ogle at girls, their tits, asses and try to spot a cameltoe, yes - which is normal for a guy - but I’d never check out any part of a guy’s physique because that’s just so fucking gay. And the unfortunate incident was not even circumstantial. Not like I was climbing a ladder in front of him or something like that. He had to actually make it an effort to look down just to be able to see my crotch, and that’s just so fucking disturbing. To the very bone. This is so fucking wrong man…

If you guys disagree with me, pretty please, give me a good reason why I shouldn’t feel that way (or you blokes can tell me if you do check out other fellow blokes’ crotches… ewwh)