Archive for August, 2008

August 27, 2008

humsup or horny?

I was surprised to learn today that one of my friends could not actually tell the difference between the ‘being humsup‘ (Chinese for perversive) and ‘being horny’. The friend remarked, “Same lah! Both of them always end with sex”. I mean, what the hell?? They’re obviously 2 different thing!

If you don’t already know, let me enlighten you about the difference here.

Being humsup, or perversive, is psychological. It’s a variety of fetish grouped into one. A humsup person’s fetish can be anything. Some likes to just look (eg. peeping, surfing for porn, etc). Some likes to touch (eg. coping a feel, taking advantage, etc). Some just adopts behavioral bias (eg. harassment, tendency to over impress, etc). It may/may not always end with sex.

Being horny however, is totally different. It’s a biological need. Pretty much like how you feel when your bladder’s full. You know you need to pee pronto before you implode. Same here. When your libido’s running thick, you’d get the strong urge to fuck, or getting fucked, else you’d feel like the world’s gonna end or something like that. You’d lose concentration, and your mood will swing to the dark side. If you’re operating heavy machinery, you’d be many times more likely to get into an accident, because your mind will always think of sex and nothing else “OHHHH SOMEBODY FUCK ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LIKE RIGHT NOW OMGWTFBBQ” *pulls hair bite lips pinch nipples*.

So the difference is like, between someone who likes food (psychological), and someone hungry (biological). Gawd.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 13 Comments
August 25, 2008

everyone’s annoyed

Yesterday’s headline, the DPM is ANNOYED with the people… [source]

PEKAN: The Government may reconsider the fuel rebate system if people do not appreciate the initiatives taken by the Government to reduce their burden due to high petrol prices.

Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said the Government could channel the rebates into subsidies to reduce pump prices but this would not be fair to lower income groups.

“We do not want to resort to such measures because people driving big cars such as Bentley, Jaguar and BMW 7 series will also enjoy the subsidies,” he told reporters after visiting an education and career exhibition here yesterday.

He was asked to comment on grouses that the fuel price reduction was not enough.

An annoyed Najib said people tended to forget that they were getting the rebates.

“The rebate, if translated, will be equivalent to a subsidy of between 35 sen and 40 sen a litre. If the people do not appreciate the rebates, it is better for us not to give rebates in the future,” he said.

On whether the reduction in fuel price would result in lower food price, Najib said the Government hoped that the inflation trend would decrease.

He said further petrol price reductions would depend on the world fuel prices.

Well hell, I am annoyed too. No, I am not just annoyed. I am FUCKING annoyed.

I am annoyed that the government is so flip flop like that.
I am annoyed that I have to pay for exorbitant toll prices despite having paid so much for excise duties, taxes and whatever that comes in between.
I am annoyed that the government spent so much money on that redundant stupid ass space program.
I am annoyed that the government had to spend so much money to buy ‘kapal selams’ and ‘kapal perangs’ only to be parked somewhere maximizing its use… (we’re gonna fucking lose in any war anyway…)
I am annoyed about that bunch of racists who yelled at us Malaysian Chinese to go back to China…
I am annoyed with many many other things…

And most of all, I am FUCKING annoyed with what this guy had said –

If the people do not appreciate the rebates, it is better for us not to give rebates in the future

Instead of taking criticisms positively to strive for improvement, this guy bitched about how his delusional benevolence was under-appreciated by the public, and was threatening to reverse everything. How about that. Maybe he was not given enough commission for the job. Oh, I’ll be annoyed too. I hope one of his nincompoop ministers would say to him (like what they always say to us non-bumi’s…) – “Kalau you tak suka, janganlah kerja gomen…”.

Maybe we should help to grant his wish then. Let’s not trouble him for all the state/country matters anymore. Let’s not vote for him and his party the next GE.

michaelooi  | snippets  | 18 Comments
August 21, 2008

changing a lightbulb

How many executives does it take to change a lightbulb? For Company X, approximately 28. At least that was the case a few weeks ago.

Let’s do some analogy here, to make the explanation easier. Just imagine Company X produces rooms, each with a lightbulb. A few weeks ago, a checking station discovered a batch of rooms’ lightbulbs not working. They’re all dead. And here’s the chronology of events that followed (unlike many you’ve read across the internet, this is an actual event that happened at my workplace…)

1.) The manager of that checking station sends a technician to check on the bulbs [manager plus technician – 2 heads]

2.) The technician suspects bulb problem, replaces the bulbs and summons the bulb quality engineer over to investigate on the allegedly defective bulbs. [bulb quality engineer – 1 head]

3.) Bulb quality engineer knows no shit about no motherfucking bulbs because he has been only a coordinator most of the time, so he summons for the bulb supplier to take a look. [bulb supplier – 1 head]

4.) Bulb supplier verifies the allegedly defective bulbs, declares that they’re all functional and aren’t defective, and subsequently have them sent back to the checking station manager. But the bulbs still won’t light up when fitted back to the rooms. Checking station manager panics and calls for an emergency meeting with 2 quality managers, 1 product engineering technician and a few other strangers [quality managers + product engineering tech + strangers = 4 -5 heads]

5.) Before the meeting, one of the quality managers invites a good looking technical investigator to the meeting to provide the necessary assistance. [technical investigator – 1 head]

6.) In the meeting, technical investigator takes a brief look at the case, and points out that the problem lies in the pull switch wiring, which is grossly out of specs, and even provides an official report of his findings. Once he gets the findings report, checking station manager calls for another meeting to discuss the next course of action, which involves another product engineering engineer + manager, switch quality engineer, and another quality manager [engineering engineer/manager, quality manager/engineer – 4 heads]

7.) In the meeting, the team calls for actions to check on the wiring specs of the switch, mechanical specs of the bulb and somebody to check with other manufacturing regions if they’re aware of such failures. The actions would involve another 2 quality engineers to liaise with their foreign counterparts [2 quality engineers and their respective counterparts – 4 heads]

8.) One of the engineers got the specs and determine that indeed the switch wiring is not compliant. About the same time, a nincompoop engineer comes up with a rather preposterous finding that the problem was due to a defective driver chip that controls the intensity of the bulb… whereas, a bulb runs on electricity and doesn’t depend on any electronics (a case of blunder and a good laugh). [nincompoop engineer – 1 hollow head]

9.) Just when the issue is about to be solved, somehow, out of sheer confusion and miscommunication, the team in the second meeting decides to instead change all the bulbs to another brand, which the team alleged (based on gut feel) is due to the non-conforming mechanical specs of the lightbulbs. A test run is then conducted by a team of production control folks. [number of heads of production control undetermined but estimated not less than 4 – assume 4 heads]

10.) Room fails to light up again with the alternative brand bulbs. Checking station manager, with the quality manager(s), escalate issue to world wide attention, and calling for solutions. More meetings follow… and I lost track of the heads since then…[another few heads got privy of the issue before I stopped tracking – not less than 4 heads.]

And the rooms are still dark today… what the fuck. This is called red tapes, bureaucracy and corporate idiocy. If you have yet to see such things, don’t worry, you’ll probably see it very soon… (higher chance if you’re employed in an MNC, of course…)

Oh, by the way, that good looking and smart technical investigator who nailed the issue with only one look, wasn’t me. Really.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 8 Comments
August 19, 2008

disturbed

I was walking along the office corridor yesterday morning. A middle aged balding manager was walking from the opposite direction. After a couple feet past him, the guy said to me (from behind),

“Errrmmm excuse me, your fly’s open.”

I went like, oh, ok… and zipped it up (no big deal for me). But after a short distance away from him, a disturbing thought suddenly loomed over me and I started to feel very uneasy about the whole thing – how did he know if my fly’s open if he was not checking out my crotch? And why the fuck would he check my crotch out? I wouldn’t mind if a girl or a housewife does that. It probably wouldn’t have been so kooky. But a middle aged balding guy?

Goddamn.

Now that I think of it, I’ve never actually saw any guy with his barn door wide open before. The reason’s simply because I never check out crotches of the same sex. I’d ogle at girls, their tits, asses and try to spot a cameltoe, yes – which is normal for a guy – but I’d never check out any part of a guy’s physique because that’s just so fucking gay. And the unfortunate incident was not even circumstantial. Not like I was climbing a ladder in front of him or something like that. He had to actually make it an effort to look down just to be able to see my crotch, and that’s just so fucking disturbing. To the very bone. This is so fucking wrong man…

If you guys disagree with me, pretty please, give me a good reason why I shouldn’t feel that way (or you blokes can tell me if you do check out other fellow blokes’ crotches… ewwh)

michaelooi  | happenings  | 23 Comments
August 15, 2008

Edward Skading

I ‘stumbled’ into an interesting blog today. A blog by Edward Skading. Edward doesn’t blog about trivial everyday emo or how does it feel like to be a jerk (like most of us do). Edward blogs about what he believes in and what is he going to do about it. In this case, he discovered something in his can of condensed milk, and started to dig more and more cans of worms from the company that produced the milk, and totally flipped the company off.

Have to commend that guy for his resilience. I mean, I couldn’t even do half the things he did. Like, if I find a dead lizard inside my can of condensed milk, I’d just dump the can of milk, tell all my friends about it, and vouch not to buy anything from that company again. But not Edward.

His blog is about resilience and fighting for consumer rights. I find it rather honorable of him to do all these in a selfless manner and decided to share this with you all (trust me, this is very much a better read than some stupid skank’s blog writing about what she ate for the day and how she hated her big busted colleague who got more attention than she does…)

Here’s Edward’s blog URL in case you missed it – http://consumersrighteousness.blogspot.com/

michaelooi  | characters  | Comments Off