July 30, 2008

something strange in the neighborhood

About 40 – 50 production operators went hysteric at Company X this morning – the highest number ever recorded. Over the years, the most ever recorded case of hysteria in Company X was less than 10 at a time. But this morning, it was like hell being broken loose. Those operators went like, batshit crazy and began to scream like they had their clitoris clipped with a nail clipper, all at the same time. Must be quite a scene. I imagined it to be like the movie Dawn of the Dead… you know, mindless undead running amok wrecking properties and killing people. And I can probably amuse myself by jumping in to grab the prettiest chick in the mob, one preferably with the biggest tits and ‘manhandle’ the hysteria out of her (but I know that’s not likely because as far as I’ve noticed, none of them even came close to the term ‘acceptable’ by the lowest standard)

So what was that all about? I don’t fucking know man. I’ve heard rumors flying around that some offerings got stolen from a nearby ‘Datuk Kong’ (some kind of local guardian spirit) shrine and it got them spirits all pissed, and they’re now all out to stir some ruckus (pretty much like that Hindraf assembly). I can understand that. Sometimes when I lost a screwdriver in the lab, I always feel like going postal and kill something. Or at least yell incessantly for a while, just to let it out. If I were to have the power like that of a guardian spirit, you can bet your ass that the advantage would have been abused at that warp of time. And I would have done the exact same thing – retard the productivity of the company until I’m used to the condition without my fucking screwdriver.

But then, if the spirits really have the power to make a human go hysteric and act all loony, why do they choose to harass these innocent operators? Why not those despicable managers or directors? Won’t that be more interesting? I can think of shitloads of creatively fun things to do with them. Lap dance in the cafeteria… masturbating in public… drinking from the toilet bowl… streaking across the scorching hot parking lot… sodomizing the stray iguanas at the creek behind the Company X building… you name it. It’ll make headlines. Things that I don’t understand.

Anyway, I just hope that this will all be over soon (knowing that this is not doing any of us Company X employees any good). My bonus payout depends on the productivity of those bunch of operators, goddamn it.

(poll: do you guys believe in shits like these?)

michaelooi  | happenings  | 

17 Comments to “something strange in the neighborhood”

  1. B.H. says:

    Did anyone record the incident? Youtube would serve well to air such hysterics. Reminds me of the Scarecrow in Batman with his tear gas.

    It’s always the little people that get it first. Maybe the management will get their comeuppance if the situation escalates.

    B.H.

  2. bubbles says:

    I don’t believe the hysteria is caused by the paranormal. It is more of a psychological thing which cause the person to have excessive emotion and attention seeking behaviour. It usually happen to those who have weak minds. Same thing happened during my schooling days- everytime when Exam season, a number of students would go hysterical.
    Maybe the operators are subconciously seeking attention for better bonus/salary…

  3. bubbles says:

    who do you call? GHOSTBUSTERS!!

  4. michaelooi says:

    update 3.54pm: the shit has apparently hit the fan. more operators are down with hysteria! The bomohs (shaman) are summoned and they’re doing some exorcism shit right now! Datuk Kong power!

  5. moo_t says:

    Don’t need a poll, it happens in Bolehland, and around the world.

    http://www.csicop.org/si/2000-05/delusions.html

    Human mind are weak.

  6. ewelmay says:

    I don’t really believe in all these too.. I mean in every factory it only happens operators and not to the management and previously when I was still in high school, same story.. only to the students and rarely the teachers..

    Coincidence? I think not..

    Cheers!

  7. sam says:

    haha, ghostbusters or mythbusters? engineering company shld be mythbuster, but they’re calling the ghostbusters intead…. lol

    on the other hand, the hysteria is just hysterical

  8. vincent says:

    It’s a psychological thingy.

    One dude goes nuts, the rest, believing it is something more, follow suit. Then more and more people follow suit.

    Correct me if I am wrong, but they are mostly women?

    If you watch House, there is an episode on a plane with something similar..

  9. michaelooi says:

    moo_t – Thanks for sharing.

    ewelmay – Good point. Quite contrary from being weak, I think the human mind is a powerful thing. It can make you believe something that does not even exist…

    sam – I’d be interested to hear your take on how exactly do one solve problems like this from an engineering point of view… that’ll be very interesting indeed…

    vincent – yeah I’m a fan of ‘House’. Watched that hysteria episode eons ago. Now I’m up to the death of Amber and the broken friendship between House and Wilson. Oh the suspense…

  10. MorpheusX says:

    Conclusion is that maybe the powers can easily influenced the weak minded rather then Strong willed. Thus in this case the operators and not the management or engineers.

    Agree?

  11. Danielle says:

    I have been in the US for 2 years (maybe not long enough, but still) and have not encountered any paranormal hysteria of this sort. Whereas in Malaysia you hear about this all the time; like when jungle trekking, camping, even in classrooms??? I don’t believe in spirits and I feel this is just a way for people to gain attention. Hell, unless you tell me that Malaysia (or SouthEast Asia as a region) is saturated with spirits whereas other developed countries are free from them.

  12. brandon says:

    probably in such occurance, pseudo-hysteria best describe it. or perhaps some joker at the centre would have brought some of his magical mushrooms and concocted onto the dishes during their lunch buffet

  13. michaelooi says:

    Yesterday, I saw one of the victims when I was leaving the office building. The victim was being pushed out in a wheelchair and was looking rather lethargic, with a towel wrapped on her head (for some weird reasons). Right at that time, there were a couple of chicks walking beside me and I told them

    “Girls, see that? Free hairwash. You just need to go hysterical and you’d get the free hairwash. How nice. And on top of that, you’ll be exempted from working and having to walk”.

    Strangely, they didn’t find it funny.

  14. I believe hysteria has a perfectly scientific explanation. The power of the mind is everything.

  15. Loong says:

    This is just a pathetic excuse to get a more paid leave. Oldest trick in the book.

    Don’t fall for it next time – chain those workers to their workstations.

    If they still don’t want to work, play some Britney Spears music 24/7 in the office / factory. That will utterly break their resolve.

  16. michaelooi says:

    If they still don’t want to work, play some Britney Spears music 24/7 in the office / factory

    man, that’s a cold blooded countermeasure. That’s worse than getting clipped in the clitoris!

  17. sam says:

    Interesting Britney songs to play : Sometimes?(Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide, Sometimes I’m scared of you… lolz) or Toxic or Crazy

The commenting function has been closed.