About 40 – 50 production operators went hysteric at Company X this morning – the highest number ever recorded. Over the years, the most ever recorded case of hysteria in Company X was less than 10 at a time. But this morning, it was like hell being broken loose. Those operators went like, batshit crazy and began to scream like they had their clitoris clipped with a nail clipper, all at the same time. Must be quite a scene. I imagined it to be like the movie Dawn of the Dead… you know, mindless undead running amok wrecking properties and killing people. And I can probably amuse myself by jumping in to grab the prettiest chick in the mob, one preferably with the biggest tits and ‘manhandle’ the hysteria out of her (but I know that’s not likely because as far as I’ve noticed, none of them even came close to the term ‘acceptable’ by the lowest standard)
So what was that all about? I don’t fucking know man. I’ve heard rumors flying around that some offerings got stolen from a nearby ‘Datuk Kong’ (some kind of local guardian spirit) shrine and it got them spirits all pissed, and they’re now all out to stir some ruckus (pretty much like that Hindraf assembly). I can understand that. Sometimes when I lost a screwdriver in the lab, I always feel like going postal and kill something. Or at least yell incessantly for a while, just to let it out. If I were to have the power like that of a guardian spirit, you can bet your ass that the advantage would have been abused at that warp of time. And I would have done the exact same thing – retard the productivity of the company until I’m used to the condition without my fucking screwdriver.
But then, if the spirits really have the power to make a human go hysteric and act all loony, why do they choose to harass these innocent operators? Why not those despicable managers or directors? Won’t that be more interesting? I can think of shitloads of creatively fun things to do with them. Lap dance in the cafeteria… masturbating in public… drinking from the toilet bowl… streaking across the scorching hot parking lot… sodomizing the stray iguanas at the creek behind the Company X building… you name it. It’ll make headlines. Things that I don’t understand.
Anyway, I just hope that this will all be over soon (knowing that this is not doing any of us Company X employees any good). My bonus payout depends on the productivity of those bunch of operators, goddamn it.
(poll: do you guys believe in shits like these?)